Monday, March 26, 2007

How Does one file their taxes when working for Bossman? Pt. 3

No, I still do not have my 1099. Over the past several days, the situation has deteriorated to the point where I don't even see him anymore and we only communicate about my 1099 via email and, in reality, he doesn't really participate. He just sends me forwards from his accountant. To top it all off, I feel like we're back to square one since this morning he basically asked me to fill it out for myself(again). Is it time to give my notice yet?

If you're really bored and have some time to waste, feel free to peruse the email chain.

Sun Mar 11 15:56:13 2007
1099 Form

Hi Bossman,

I just did a search on google for a 1099 form. I believe this is the form I need:

However, there are a couple of different 1099 forms and, not being an accountant, I'm not really qualified to accurately determine which form you need to give me and which on you should be filing with the IRS. Can I speak to your accountant directly on Monday? I'd like to take care of this as soon as possible.

Your Faithful Assistant

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:47:10
Fwd: FW: Household employee issues

Bossman, below is a link to a website that discusses various issues related to Household employees. You should look through this. I have also attached instructions for form SS-4 and the form. I believe you can call or go on line and complete the form (it is probably easier to call)

I will send you the form 1099 and 1096 to complete

Your Accountant
Very Big and Important office
Numbertown, USA 12345

NOTE: This was a forward from Bossman that I received without any explanation or salutation

Thu Mar 15 11:16:33 2007
RE: Fwd: FW: Household employee issues

Hi Bossman,

So I assume this means you're on top of everything? I'd like to have my 1099 by Friday, the 23rd at the very latest.


Wed Mar 21 17:02:41 2007
Fwd: RE: FW: Household employee issues

Bossman, sorry, I forgot to get these out to you--I am having my assistant send them out today. Thanks for reminding me.

Your Accountant
Very Big and Important office
Numbertown, USA 12345

Mon Mar 26 10:41:59 2007
1099: URGENT

Hi Bossman,

The 1099 forms arrived over the weekend from your accountant. I'd appreciate it if you can get them filled out ASAP.


Mon Mar 26 10:48:29 2007
Re: 1099: URGENT

Why don't you look over them and write down any information that I might need.

Your start date, SSN, detailed payment history etc.


Friday, March 23, 2007

"Can you run to the mall for me?"

Bossman: "My mom is moving away and I'd like to get her a piece of Lladro as a going away gift. Can you go to Ross-Simons and find pieces that are travel or moving related, send me pictures via the phone, and I'll pick one?"

Faithful Assistant: "Sure. When do you need it by?"
BM: "Before 2pm."

Now, it's not such an odd request for me to go out and pick up a gift for him. However, I always get nervous when he puts such specific guidelines on what he wants. It has to be Lladro, it has to be from Ross-Simons, and it has to be related to his mother moving away. Yikes. I'm somewhat familiar with Lladro's overly emotional, pastel, high-gloss porcelain figurines. They are usually tall slender mothers in long dresses cradling babies or puppies. It's not exactly my taste. Also, any depiction of motherhood from them usually involves infants. Mothers aren't likely to move away from infants, thus making "relocation" a somewhat unexplored theme in Lladro ceramics.

Obstacle #2 was that my car is in the shop. I know. AGAIN. Although they promised I would have it by early afternoon, I knew I wasn't going to get it by 1pm. The scramble began for me to again impose my carless-yet-errand-laden self on one of my generous friends. Liz answered the call, picked me up, and we headed to benevolent Providence Place Mall on what I promised would be a "short trip."

After finding the only two figurines that could be remotely related to any sort of travel, I snapped the pictures (see Fig 1 & 2), and sent them to Bossman. I followed up with a phone call two minutes later:

FA: "Hi Bossman, I just sent you two pictures. Have you gotten them yet?"
BM: "No."
FA: "Ok. Well did you want me to buy the piece or are you going to come pick it up yourself?"
BM: "Um...I'm not sure. Let me call you back in a little bit."
FA: "Ok. well it's just that I don't have a car so I'm at the mall with my friend and I can't stay here that long. Can you call me back in two minutes?"
BM: "Oh. Ok."
FA: "So you're going to call me back?"
BM: "Yeah."

Long story short, he called me back and said that he was just going to come to the mall himself so I didn't have to stick around if I didn't want to. Apparently he doubts my ability to interpret the meaning of Lladro.

Fig 1: This is a puppy (somewhat similar to Bossman's dog) riding a paper airplane on top of a stylized gust of wind.

Fig 2: This is a bird gliding South (get it? get it?) on yet another, stylized gust of wind

Thursday, March 22, 2007

How clever was I on St. Patrick's Day?

I was so clever that I had the forethought to steal a pun from the internet and put it onto tshirts with Jessie before heading out for National Drinking Day. Let's have a little visual recap f the day shall we?

I felt like the typical Boston girl in my matching gear but at least our shirts got some laughs.

What also got some laughs was when Jessie and I began to take a picture and she broke away to yell at Matt who was minding his own business reading a shoe catalog in the dark.

"Let's take a picture! No! Not you...MATT."

I swear that this pose was completely spontaneous...sometimes magic just happens.

Here's the BryGuy, Jessie, and Jeb. She's obviously still a little angry about the Matt thing.

Andrew decided that he needed a mohawk to celebrate the day. It's hard to see but it's there. Trust me.

And what's a night out on the town without a classic fall from Messy Jessie? This was one for the record books though. What happens when you mix slushy conditions, cowboy boots, a natural sense of grace and balance, and a day's worth of drinking?

Answer: You get Jessie doing her flipped over turtle impression on Cambridge Street. She had strangers offering to help her up because her 3 friends were too busy laughing and taking pictures of her to pick her up. Sorry Jessie.

Friday, March 16, 2007

How does one file their taxes when working for Bossman? Pt. 2

After receiving a forwarded message from Bossman's accountant via Bossman, I was concerned that he was trying to pass on the responsibility of the aforementioned 1099 form to me. The email showed that Bossman had in fact discussed the situation with an accountant and contained links to info on filling out the 1099 as well as another form to apply for an employer identification number. In a passive aggressive, defensive manuever, I replied to said email saying "So I assume this means you're taking care of getting the form? Thanks so much for being on top of it. I'd like to have the form by March 23rd at the latest."

That was Wednesday. Today being Friday and still having gotten no response, I decided to revisit the issue while he smacked away on his morning pear.

FA: "What's the latest on my 1099 form?"
BM: "The accountant is sending me the form I have to fill out. I guess I also need need to apply for an Employer Identification Number."
FA: "Ok. So you're on top of it?"
BM: "Well, if you could look at that email and tell me what I have to do for that, it would really help me out."
FA: (holding my ground) " I took a quick look and all you have to do is fill out the form and send it in."
BM: "I have to mail it in? I thought I could do it over the phone."

Let's take a brief time-out to analyze the subtle nuances of that last statement. Saying that he thought he could do it over the phone proves that he did indeed read the email and the attachments. Therefore, I would hazard to guess that he read the email, decided he didn't really feel like doing it, and forwarded it to me. Was he trying to play dumb so that I would take a closer look at the form, fill it out for him, and call in the info? It's highly likely. Time in.

FA:(reopening the email) "Oh you're right. You can do it over the phone. I think the easiest thing to do is print out the form, fill it in, then call in the information."

Awkward silence as Bossman waits for me to add, "...or I could just do it for you..." which I don't.

BM: (pretending that this is the moment when he has to run out the door) "Ok. Well I have to run but I'll look into it."
FA: (highly skeptical and thinking about the email I will write later to follow up) "Sounds good. Have a good day."

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

How does one file their taxes when working for Bossman?

Good question.

It was initially agreed upon that I would be paid as an independent contractor and therefore receive a 1099 form, not the traditional W-2. Although it's pretty much illegal since I'm a permanent employee and he just wants to avoid paying payroll taxes, I went ahead with the plan since I was really excited about the job when I first started. I think we all know by now that my sentiments have since changed...

This past Sunday, I went home with my file-a-fax full of receipts and bills I had saved over the course of my employ as an independent contractor, ready to write off business expenses to my heart's content. However, a small snag was reached when diligent TurboTax asked me to enter the information from box 3b of my 1099. Box 3b? I suddenly realized that I couldn't fulfill the request since I didn't have a 1099 form from my employer (Bossman) and therefore had no idea what would be in box 3b.

Keeping my cool, I dial up Bossman. The conversation (somewhat abbreviated) went as follows:

Faithful Assistant: "Hi Bossman, I'm sitting here trying to do my taxes and realized that I haven't received a 1099 form from you yet. Do you know when I should be expecting it?"
Bossman: (somewhat dreamily) "Um....No. I don't have any idea."

Awkward silence...

FA: "Oh. Ok. Umm..."
BM: "Well what goes into that?"
FA: (trying to hide frustration) "Well, you or your accountant are supposed to fill out a 1099 form and submit it to me and the IRS so I can report my earnings and file my taxes."
BM: "Oh."
FA: "Should I talk to your accountant about it?"
BM: "Well, why don't you just figure out the steps that go into it and we'll go from there?"
FA: "Ok. I guess I can do that but I'd really need to speak to an accountant to make sure it's all correct."
BM: "Well...if you can figure out what needs to go into that then we can work it out."
FA: (getting audibly more frustrated) "Alright. I do need to get this taken care of really soon since the deadline is coming up. Do you have an accountant that handles your taxes?"
BM: (Still dreamy, I now think he's watching tv while talking to me) "There is an accountant but I don't think he'd handle this kind of thing..."

Awkward silence #2...

FA: "Um. You also have to file a 1099 as a part of your taxes. Your accountant should know about this if he's filing for you."
BM: "(audibly reaching his limit for how long he feels like talking to me) Ok. If you can just look into what information you need, you and I can go from there on Monday."
FA: (awash in defeat) "Sounds good. I'll see you Monday."

endnote: He told me to take the day off on Monday.

Monday, March 5, 2007

What happens when you leave Aunt Kate alone with the baby?

He ends up looking like he just rolled out of a frat party. Good thing Harrison's middle name is Bender. The kid's already a champ in the rocking out department. Oooo and ahhh as much as you'd like.

And don't worry...I haven't gone all soft yet. It's Aunt Kate. Not Auntie Katie. Aunt Kate. Either he gets it straight or there will be no presents.