That's it wedding blogs. I'm done with you. Actually, I was done with you about three weeks ago but I've been too lazy to write a post about it. It was fun while it lasted. I mean it. Totally. However, when you get to the point that you start to judge other people's weddings (mason jars and mustaches on sticks* again? Really?) and second guess your own feelings about what you want your wedding to be, it's time to shut off the noise.
I'm set. Promise. It's going to be epic. Before we say goodbye though, I think there are a couple of things that we need to be honest about.
First of all, engagement photo shoots are totally bogus. Seriously. How the hell do these girls convince their fiances to dress up in bowties and short pants while sitting in a field having an overly styled tea party and get their picture taken? What do you do with those photos!?
I'm pretty sure that no one wants to sit down with you after a dinner party and look at a photo album of you two frolicking in an orchard or artfully leaning against a grafittied brick wall in Harlem while forming your hands into the shape of a heart. No, I do not want a portrait of us touching foreheads and petting bunnies as we lie on a picnic blanket surrounded by clothbound books. Posing with your mouth open and looking away from the other person doesn't make make you a real model. It's called trying too hard.
I would have posted examples but I'm not that mean. I'm sure these photos mean something to the people that paid for them. The last thing I want is for those people to look back at the hundreds of dollars they spent on pictures of them slow dancing in a desert with vintage clothing on and regret it.
Second, don't try to convince be that the only alternative to wearing a veil is pinning a silk flower the size of a pizza box to my head. Better yet, let's add a single ostrich plume sticking straight up from my forehead. Yeah. That will go over really well with my great aunt. I won't look back at the wedding photos 20 years from now and compare myself to this trend:
The volume makes you look skinnier. Promise.
Lastly (for now), there are so many amazingly talented people out there related to the wedding industry. However, I'm pretty tired of all the things that I'm "supposed" to have at my wedding. Yes, I took a bunch of graphic design classes in college and I'm passionate about beautiful paper products. However, custom letterpress invitations start around $600 and quickly go up from there. Calligraphers? Try $4 per envelope. Multiply that by the number of guests. Now consider that that is just for envelopes.
Yes, I love Etsy too. However, I'm not going to pay $120 plus shipping for a custom cake topper or $45 plus shipping for a monogrammed paper parasol so the pictures will look good. I could go on.
Maybe I'm bitter because I thought I had a really honest conversation with a caterer about what we wanted and he came back with a quote that equaled my ENTIRE budget. What was on the menu? Mini crab cakes and grilled cheese. Thanks but no thanks.
BTW, A Practical Wedding really sums this point up the better than I ever can. That's one blog that I'll keep reading thank you very much.
*Don't be surprised if mustaches on sticks show up at my wedding. They're hilarious even if they are over-blogged.
No comments:
Post a Comment