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#6 I call it 90% Complete

2011-09-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

The goal was to host a dinner party for 6 before the wedding. What did I do? I hosted an impromptu pizza party for five on the back deck the two Fridays before the wedding when Jessie got to town. To my credit, there was a homemade salad and dressing...and a picture to prove it. Why don't we do that more often?

Also, if you count Skippy who hid in the closet the whole time, it makes six. I call that a win.

#2 Acting Like A Responsible Adult Blows

2011-09-28T17:08:00.000-07:00

So. Interesting things happen when you marry an illegal immigrant. Obviously, he's a great deal more than that but, for the sake of humor and snarkiness, we'll stick with the label that the U.S. Government is interested in. Without getting into all the nitty gritty details, the husband and I are going through three major changes that all involve a great deal of paperwork. Here's what's on the to-do list at the moment:

-Change my last name

-File Green Card paperwork

-Get ready for filing joint taxes

None of these things are a joke. Put them together and my brain shuts down. The one bright spot in all of this is that we've been able to find some professionals to provide us with legit advice and subsequently help me cross #2 off of the list.

Obviously, there are a lot of opinions and emotions surrounding the name change question. Are you going to keep your last name or change it to your spouse's? Will you hyphenate? Are you giving up your identity if you do change it? If you don't change it, what last name will you give your hypothetical children? Just check out the comments on this post from one of my favorite blogs to get a taste of the debate.

I did some research and listened to some of the opinions out there but, if I'm being honest? I knew pretty early on in our engagement that I was going to change my name and I didn't have a problem with it. I never felt like I was giving anything up. If anything, I was gaining access to something. Conor and I were going to start a new family together and I liked the idea of having a name that I chose to go along with it. As far as the logistics, I knew a couple of people that used the MissnowMrs service and really liked it. For about $30 you input your personal information and they prefill all the forms you need. I have yet to print them all and file but I'm getting there soon.

The reason for the hurry? The sooner I change my name, the sooner we can file all of the Green Card paperwork. Having the same last name will be one more point in our favor when we go through the process. You know, to prove that it isn't a sham marriage. That's actually something that we're going to have to convince someone of. Sheesh. Thankfully, we found a free legal clinic in Southie which walked us through the paperwork and answered all my nervous, policeman's daughter and I don't break rules questions. Believe me, it's more complicated that Gerard Depardieu and Andie MacDowell make it out to be.

The last, and arguably most amusing, part of the whole thing will be filing our taxes. We met with an accountant last night. While he was just a lovely person, no one wants to hear about the possibility of having to pay thousands of dollars in April. I'm not going to get into it (she says as she writes the longest post ever) because talking about money is crass and it makes me anxious but, since Conor is self-employed, he gets extra beat up when joining the rest of us tax-paying schmoes. There may be a lot of ramen noodles in our future.

An Overdue Update

2011-09-26T17:46:00.001-07:00

So who else is sick of that salmon photo? I am. I'm still making the recipe though.

The old blog is long overdue for an update. On the upside, a lot has happened since May. I went back to Denver. I cooked some tasty food. I planned a wedding and pulled it off. Most importantly, I was reminded of how amazing my friends and family are.

On the down side, the sheer awesomeness of this past summer has paralyzed me to the point where I don't know how to start describing it all. I'm in recovery. I'm getting back to normal. That in itself is pretty great.

I feel like the first order of business should be to talk about the wedding, how it made me feel, and share pictures of all my favorite moments. Sorry folks* but I'm just not ready yet. I'm still in a bit of a haze and I think it will be a little while longer until I've really wrapped by head around that amazing week and that gorgeous sunny day when Conor and I officially created our new little family.

Until then, I'm going to focus on the easy stuff. Now that I've knocked goal #1 off of the list, I'm going to revisit the rest of my goals and blog about some of the other progress I've made. My 29th birthday is in less than a month. Am I halfway there?

*Of course, "folks" is more of a figurative term since I don't know if anyone is still reading.

Who had a productive little Sunday?

2011-05-24T16:08:00.000-07:00

This kid.

First of all, the countdown is on...for my herb garden. Goal #15 in the thirty before thirty challenge is to plant a container herb garden that survives longer than three months. The demon cat that lives in in my apartment goes after all other living things with a vengeance leaving all of my houseplants sequestered to the mantle and on top of the bookcase. I decided to take it outside to the deck with this one.

I found this metal window box that the landlords left behind and only had to shell out $23 for the liner and four perky little plants. Fingers crossed that I'll have basil, parsley, rosemary, and cilantro all through the summer! I would have taken better photos but the neighbors were out grilling and they already think I'm a total weirdo.

In other news, goal #29 is still going strong. I found a recipe for Strawberry and Black Pepper Crisps on my new favorite food blog The Year in Food. I thought that maybe I could trick the boyfriend into trying a fruit dessert if it involved balsamic vinegar and black pepper. He's more of a savory guy. The finished result was delish. I might use a little less vinegar the next time (I went for a full 2 tablespoons) but it mellowed out in the fridge overnight and was even better the next day. Chalk this one up to a win!

#29 Mmmmm...Salmon

2011-05-08T18:19:00.000-07:00

In keeping with my goal to try out new recipes on the regular, I picked out this one from The Kitchn for salmon with cilantro vinaigrette. I really love this site. It's the food division of Apartment Therapy and always has quick recipes and interesting articles. The recipe is on the link so I won't repeat it but it was as easy as it sounds.

It was a huge hit with the fiance too. We were both so excited to eat that I forgot to take pictures until I was packing up the leftovers for lunch. I also ended up making it twice in one week.

False Starts

2011-04-19T17:14:00.000-07:00

The seven people that read this blog may have noticed a certain lack of posting lately. There's no real reason except that I can't seem to form an extended, cohesive thought. I think my attention span is shot. I've been reduced to interacting with the world around me in the quickest ways possible...texting, pinterest, flicking channels...Conor's even getting one word sentences most of the time.

I have all these half ideas that I can't turn actual posts. Oh well, let's fall back on the 30 list. I'm updating the list with a new goal since looking back, a couple of them feel like cop outs. To that end, I'm committing to trying a new recipe every two weeks.

The first attempt was a complete failure. I decided to make savory breakfast mini-muffins using two different recipes. It was ugly. The first was goat cheese and chive, the second was bacon and cheddar. Neither were appetizing once baked. I won't go into detail but I should have known things were off when they came out of the oven looking pretty much the same as they did going in. Just harder.

Luckily the iPhone was there to capture my epic failure.

This week's attempt was much much more successful even if the photo wasn't any better. I give you black bean and potato fritatta with cheddar.

Trust me. It was delicious.

#8 Take that FINRA!

2011-02-15T15:08:00.000-08:00

One down, twenty nine to go. Remember the list? You should. It was only 2 posts ago.

After what seems like ten years of studying and practice test, I finally finished my last securities registration exam today. In typical fashion, I didn't tell anyone on my team, slipped out under the pretense of "an appointment" and came back an hour and half later with a solid passing grade. I'll spare the details about feeling like I was going to throw up all day and staring at the screen with my heart beating out of my chest while I waited for the computer to calculate my score. It's all over now.

The best part? I can now focus on things I care about far more than my job (oops) like making decorations for the wedding and getting drunk on weekdays. More interesting blog posts are in our future.

New Inspiration

2011-01-08T15:43:00.001-08:00

It's nice to make connections that in hindsight seem so obvious. I just found Amy Merrick's blog An Apple a Day. I've loved her posts on Design*Sponge for a long time but never knew she had her own blog. Of course she does. She's wonderful. Seriously...I sat at work and devoured her blog even though it was waaayyyy too obvious that I wasn't doing any work.

I especially liked her 2010 wrap up post. It was such a sweet way to remember a year's worth of events. I want to be like her. Check it out here.

Don't call it a Thrisis.

2011-01-04T16:32:00.000-08:00

Ok. You can if you want to. That's probably what it is anyway.

I've been reading Making It Lovely for a long time and was inspired by Nicole's "30 Before Thirty" list.* Since I'll be turning thirty in relatively short order (October 20, 2012!) I thought it would be cool to put my own list together to make the next couple of years a little more exciting and driven. It was only when I sat down to write this post that I did a little google research and realized that this whole concept is already a pretty big movement.

Maybe I'm cheating a little by giving myself almost two years to tackle the list but, if I know myself, I'll cross a few things off right away and then go into hibernation until about six months before the big 3-0. We'll see. Here we go. I can't believe I'm putting this out there.

1. ~~Get married.~~

2. ~~Get some professional advice on the green card process and how to file taxes in the meantime.~~

3. Bake an edible loaf of bread.

4. Visit Conor's hometown in N. Ireland.

5. Finish the photo albums of my nephews I've been promising to everyone for years.

6. ~~Host a dinner party for at least 6 people before the wedding.~~

7. Vacation in Italy.

8. ~~Complete securities registration exams for work.~~

9. DIY a headboard.

10. Buy a house.

11. Get a short haircut.

12. Visit the new wing of the MFA and take Conor to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.

13. Sew curtains for the living room.

14. Attend 2 concerts a year.

15. Plant an herb container garden that survives longer than 3 months.

16. Make a full Roth IRA contribution for 2012.

17. Watch less TV, listen to more music.

18. Reduce paper towel consumption.

19. Start a recipe box. Maybe this one?

20. Make pasta from scratch.

21. Babysit the nephews in Boston for a day.

22. Create some real life photo albums for myself.

23. Go to a new restaurant every time we dine out (not that often these days) and keep track.

24. Spend a weekend in Providence with Conor and show him the old stomping grounds.

25. Visit the Mapparium.

26. Take more walks, especially when I don't feel like it.

27. Volunteer twice a year.

28. Stretch and do situps 3x a week.

~~29.Get more sleep but wake up earlier.~~
This goal was a total cop out and it is being replaced with:

29. Try a new recipe every two weeks.

30. Go see a movie outdoors in Boston.

Obviously, the list is in no particular order. It was pretty funny reading back through it and realizing how funny certain goals looked next to each other. I mean, of course DIYing a headboard and buying a house carry the same amount of significance for me in the next two years. Haha. At the very least this will be a good source of blog posts.

*By the way, her stationery is also super cute. I've ordered a few different patterns and have always been really satisfied.

The Poser: Holiday Edition

2011-01-03T18:14:00.000-08:00

Harrison doesn't like getting his picture right now. Case in point:

Luckily, Gus is right there to pick up the slack. He LOVES the camera.

This is his "What up party people? Wanna wait for Santa with me?" face.

"I had NO idea that oysters were this fun!"

"Oh hey Aunt Kate! Course you can have a photo with me. Get on in here!"

"I am going to sit in this ALL. THE. TIME."

Happy New Year?

2011-01-03T16:56:00.000-08:00

So it's a new year. It's that time of year where you're supposed to finally put down the cookies and the party mix, stop eating mashed potatoes at every meal, and take stock. Look back, look forward, and make plans before the sugar high and the tryptophan wear off.

Emerging from the cozy fog of the holidays with newfound motivation, I flip the tv back on and am told that it's time for new beginnings.

New gym memberships (to sculpt the new me!)

New cars (before the holiday deals are all gone!)

New wardrobes (because the new me deserves it!)

That's about the time when I get sick of the whole "new year" thing. It makes me feel like a sheep. I've resisted being part of the herd since a very influential person in 8th grade told us that we were all sheep. It's a long story.

This year though, I really feel like I'm on the cusp of something pretty great. Yes, the wedding is a huge part of that feeling. No, I'm not going to apologize for that since getting married is awesome and I'm psyched about it.

However, it's made me reevaluate a lot of things, recognize my short term goals, my long time goals, and realize that Conor and I are forming shared goals for our future. Big time stuff!!

I don't think I'm fully ready to jump on the resolution train so I'm going to stick in my safe zone: The To Do List. This post is already long enough so I'll be posting to do list of significant proportions soon. There's nothing better than the public shame of failure to keep you motivated!

Eff you, you effing effers.

2010-12-06T15:53:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have one of those days where you want to beat the s**t out of an innocent bystander? I had one of those days today.

source

Now, obviously the innocent bystander wouldn't be your first choice but, you feel so utterly shut down by the people that destroyed your day that you start looking for an easy target.

Phew. Back to the real world where I've never started (or participated in) a physical fight in my whole life and would never take it there. I got close today though. I started to type out the story of today and why it sucked but then it all started to seem very petty. That's the thing with rage, it takes too much energy to keep it up for very long and once it's gone, it seems like a waste of time to rehash it.

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Let's just say that it brought me right back to that time in 2nd grade when I wasn't invited to a classmate's fairytale princess party but all the other girls were and that was all anyone talked about the next week at school. Except that I work in a office with all dudes and instead of a princess party it was a football game with luxury seats, a limo to the stadium, and lots of booze and bonding. The only things that these two instances have in common are a pizza party and a lot of hurt feelings on my part.

Before you tell me that it's a guy thing and I probably wouldn't have had fun anyway, DON'T. That's the kind of misogynist nonsense that made me want to punch someone in the face.

source

There will be a record of things...I hope.

2010-10-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

So. I may have found a photographer. I don't want to jinx it until she and I get together and discuss things but, she's young and starting out with weddings, came highly recommended, and has a really unique eye from what I've seen of her portfolio.

Did I mention that she's also within my frugal Yankee budget???

I've been totally avoiding the "find a photographer" check box on my to-do list because it matters to me more than I want to admit but I just don't want to pay too much. There's been too much budging with our budget lately. After taking photography in college, I also find myself being really critical of poorly executed photos. All of these factors create a perfect storm of "Idonwannadealwithit."

However, I think I might have found the perfect combination of talent, flexibility, and affordability so keep your fingers crossed and hopefully it will all be sorted soon! So excited.

On Pinterest and the exacerbation of desire...

2010-10-12T18:17:00.000-07:00

I think I may be addicted to Pinterest. That's a little beside the point though.

I had heard rumblings here and there on the interwebs about this new site. Of course, Jessie and Kristen are much much cooler than me and were all over it already. Jessie soon sent me an invitation to join. Long story short, I now have a way of collecting all of the wonderful images I find online everyday with just a couple of clicks. It's amazing. If anyone wants to experience it for themselves, I have four invitations left.

What's the downside? Instead of working, instead of studying for my horribly boring securities exam, instead of putting some time into nailing down a photographer for the wedding, I sit around and OBSESS about having my own house. It's borderline ridiculous.

I've posted before about my desire to find a house that Conor and I can renovate together. He'll do the technical stuff, I'll annoy him by trying to help, and then we'll decorate with salvaged, vintage, and restored treasures.

...

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Sorry. I just went over to Pinterest to get that example photo and got distracted for 10 minutes. Do you see what I mean?? Anyway, a house is a long way away for us. First we need to save for a wedding. Then we need to actually get married. Then we need to save for a house, find a house, and save up for all of these magical renovations I have in mind for the house I haven't found yet.

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None of these realities help the fact that I stare at gorgeous interiors all day long now and troll the web for more and more images. It's never enough. It's like crack (not that I would know). I need to put all of these ideas to work soon or I'm going to go nuts. I almost wish that the company firewall would start blocking the site from me so I'd start focusing on more near-term goals. However, we all know that that's not nearly as fun.

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I Have Become A Cliche...Almost

2010-09-27T16:04:00.000-07:00

This was going to be a post about how I'm slowly realizing that all of those "bridal" cliches have some footing in reality. They are cliches for a reason. I was going to write about lists, stress, money, vendors, etc. etc. etc.

Then a couple of things happened.

I read a blog post that my best friend in the world wrote about me and the amazing place I'm at in my life. Then I realized that things aren't so bad when you have people in your life that know all your secrets and take time out of their day to be your cheerleader.

That revelation made me reflect back on this past weekend that Conor and I spent at my parent's house. In between me stressing about what size tent we should order and what in the hell we were going to do if it rained, I was surrounded by people who are just as excited about the wedding as I am. My parents, aunt and uncle, cousins, brothers and sister-in-law, and even extended family, are already offering time, guest rooms, cars, and a million other things that are way beyond the norm. This is the kind of wedding cliche I can get behind. My family is pitching in to contribute to the "big day" in any way they can and it's an awesome feeling to have all of that energy directed my way.

Add to all that the fact that some of my favorite people are headed into town this month for visits, I came home from a boring day in the office to Conor's homemade lasagna, and my heart broke wide open watching him doze off on the couch next to me after dinner, life turns out to not be such a cliche after all.

What is there to worry about when I'll be here in about 10 months?

Saturation Point

2010-09-03T18:25:00.000-07:00

That's it wedding blogs. I'm done with you. Actually, I was done with you about three weeks ago but I've been too lazy to write a post about it. It was fun while it lasted. I mean it. Totally. However, when you get to the point that you start to judge other people's weddings (mason jars and mustaches on sticks* again? Really?) and second guess your own feelings about what you want your wedding to be, it's time to shut off the noise.

I'm set. Promise. It's going to be epic. Before we say goodbye though, I think there are a couple of things that we need to be honest about.

First of all, engagement photo shoots are totally bogus. Seriously. How the hell do these girls convince their fiances to dress up in bowties and short pants while sitting in a field having an overly styled tea party and get their picture taken? What do you do with those photos!?

I'm pretty sure that no one wants to sit down with you after a dinner party and look at a photo album of you two frolicking in an orchard or artfully leaning against a grafittied brick wall in Harlem while forming your hands into the shape of a heart. No, I do not want a portrait of us touching foreheads and petting bunnies as we lie on a picnic blanket surrounded by clothbound books. Posing with your mouth open and looking away from the other person doesn't make make you a real model. It's called trying too hard.

I would have posted examples but I'm not that mean. I'm sure these photos mean something to the people that paid for them. The last thing I want is for those people to look back at the hundreds of dollars they spent on pictures of them slow dancing in a desert with vintage clothing on and regret it.

Second, don't try to convince be that the only alternative to wearing a veil is pinning a silk flower the size of a pizza box to my head. Better yet, let's add a single ostrich plume sticking straight up from my forehead. Yeah. That will go over really well with my great aunt. I won't look back at the wedding photos 20 years from now and compare myself to this trend:

The volume makes you look skinnier. Promise.

Lastly (for now), there are so many amazingly talented people out there related to the wedding industry. However, I'm pretty tired of all the things that I'm "supposed" to have at my wedding. Yes, I took a bunch of graphic design classes in college and I'm passionate about beautiful paper products. However, custom letterpress invitations start around $600 and quickly go up from there. Calligraphers? Try $4 per envelope. Multiply that by the number of guests. Now consider that that is just for envelopes.

Yes, I love Etsy too. However, I'm not going to pay $120 plus shipping for a custom cake topper or $45 plus shipping for a monogrammed paper parasol so the pictures will look good. I could go on.

Maybe I'm bitter because I thought I had a really honest conversation with a caterer about what we wanted and he came back with a quote that equaled my ENTIRE budget. What was on the menu? Mini crab cakes and grilled cheese. Thanks but no thanks.

BTW, A Practical Wedding really sums this point up the better than I ever can. That's one blog that I'll keep reading thank you very much.

*Don't be surprised if mustaches on sticks show up at my wedding. They're hilarious even if they are over-blogged.

Map Man?

2010-09-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

The good thing about having a Man Friend in the house is that when you find things on Etsy that you just have to have, you can tell them it's a present for them AND get them to hang it up for you.

Actually, the map is a present to both of us since Conor's from Northern Ireland, I studied abroad in Scotland, and his brothers live in England. It's an all-encompassing visual aid.

I think something is up with my camera since it's been taking less than wonderful pictures lately but here's a shot of the map in situ. The fact that the office is a shoebox doesn't help with the angles but I promise it looks good. I need to get the chair that Conor brought home for me reupholstered but I think that's going to wait a while. For now I'm going to make do with an impromptu slipcover.

Also, I saw a little chatter over on Kristen's blog about printer's drawers and how I'm currently borrowing Jessie's for my shell collection. Here are some photos for reference. Again, photos were taken on my tired camera, at night, after 3 Miller High Lifes. Nonetheless, you get the idea.

It's all about the building blocks...

2010-09-03T17:29:00.000-07:00

What could this be you ask??

Baby steps.

I promise this mish mash of crappy iPhone photos will turn into something great come August 20, 2011.

Winner Winner Roasted Dinner

2010-09-03T17:16:00.001-07:00

Granted, it's not the smartest idea to turn the oven up to 400 on a 98 degree day and make a roast dinner but the results were well worth it. Say hello to my friend roast pork loin. MMMMmmmmmmm.

Bonus points for eating out on the deck with an honest to goodness tablecloth.

Studies in Twilight

2010-08-02T17:03:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about a time of day that's perfect in Boston (and some other places) in the summertime. Let's also talk about the fact that my iPhone takes pretty perfect pictures in this kind of light.

The Custom House from the Waterfront

Boston Common

New Haven, VT

Fenway Park

Palm Beach Inlet, FL

Ocean anyone?

2010-05-25T16:59:00.000-07:00

It was a great weekend.

Can you stand it!?

2010-04-19T16:09:00.000-07:00

Me: "Babe, did the photo come out ok?"
The Fiance: "Perfect. We look just like a little family."

My nephew Noah shortly after his Christening

A few quick things that are HUGE things

2010-04-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

1. Have successfully completed one week of engagement. It's been amazing. No snark.

2. Met my future in-laws on Tuesday. They're wonderful.

3. My future in-laws met my parents and the rest of the family. It went very well and I only had to sneak one glass of wine in the kitchen when no one was looking.

4. My fiance is moving in 3 weeks!! Time to clean the closets.

5. I'm exhausted.

Want to be my stylist?

2010-03-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

It's time to put that lovely Anthro gift card the boyfriend gave me for Christmas to work. After a few months of feeling pretty blah about all their stuff, I think we finally have a few viable candidates for Jeb's wedding this summer. I went on the website today and saw so many I loved. Think summer, think Maine, think seaside. Here we go...

I like this one because it's a little different from the ordinary. It's a lot of color without being a floral. Did I mention it has pockets? Swooning. The downside is that there's a high possibility of it being too short and not having any room for the ladies. That mannequin is wicked flat-chested.

Very Stepford Wives no? My mom would love this one and tell me it looks very classic and that I'll have it for years. Again, pockets. The model in one of the photos was pale and blond and the dress really worked. Reality check: I am not a model. Will I roast in the sun if I wear black? Hmmmm...

This one probably requires tricky undergarments. I keep picturing it with a really cute belt and a HUGE straw hat. It looks so comfy too.

I liked this one a lot when I first pulled the photo but the more I look at it I just keep seeing that scene from Empire Records when Renee Zellweger when she comes out of the stockroom in an orange apron and nothing else. I'd probably look like a linebacker with all those ruffles anyway.

I like this one a lot and it's a departure from all the black and navy that's been cropping up in my wardrobe. A little too safe?

Right after I make a crack about having too much navy I come up with this one. It just feels fresh but still a little retro.

Last but not least, I obviously wouldn't wear white to someone elses's wedding but if I had an unlimited budget I'd buy this one in addition to a dress for the wedding and start working on my tan.

Keep your fingers crossed that they have all of these in the store so I can try them on!

What Snowicane?

2010-02-28T09:53:00.000-08:00

Nobody told this girl that we were in the middle of Snowmageddon as I skipped down the street Friday in my new spring trench and green hunters enjoying the 40 degree weather. I made myself even more of a cliche after stopping at Trader Joe's and picking up a fistful of perky yellow daffodils to carry home. By the time I got home, I was so thrilled with myself that I broke out the old digital camera and played artistic director.

Admittedly, I was slightly influenced my the daffodil post on Design*Sponge the week. Seriously. How could you not be ready for Spring with some of these suckers around?

TJ's didn't have quite the same selection as a New York farmer's market so I went for the monochromatic look and snapped a few pictures in the last bits of daylight. The one downside to this apartment is the lack of natural light. I'm blocked in on 3 sides and on the first floor so I keep the shades down most of the time. I'll have to explore some rental-friendly, privacy-keeping, light-maximizing solutions if I'm going to keep the Springy Sentiments alive.

One other thing that kept the endorphins running high was the little surprise from the UPS man that was waiting on the back deck for me. Makeover photos to follow...

Is it really almost March?

2010-02-21T18:27:00.000-08:00

So barely a post in February. Way to go.

Needless to say, there has been a lot happening and I've barely noticed the month going by. My latest attempt to pretend that I belong in the world of high finance is to take the Series 7 exam. Obviously, if I tell people at work I'm going to take it, I better pass it in order to avoid ridicule and possible termination. So woo hoo!

I bit the bullet last week and signed up for the 4 day intensive study class in mid March and I'll take the exam the following Friday. Did I mention that in between that Jessie will be visiting to celebrate my first ever St. Patrick's Day in Southie? Great planning. So I'll have my best friend in town surrounded by more drunks per capita than anywhere else on the planet but I'll need to take it easy so I don't fry all my brain cells before the test. Why do this you ask?

This was the only class I could take before the boyfriend's parents come over from Ireland in April to meet me. The last thing I wanted to worry about while they're here are stock options and settlement periods for various treasury instruments. I'll have enough on my plate trying to prove my worth as a potential life partner for their son. Again, woo hoo!

On the brighter side, I recently proved that I have the ability to roast a chicken and cook all the traditional accoutrements so at least I have a semi-impressive menu to wow them with.

I promise to come back in March with a sunnier attitude and posts that contain some visual interest. I think the fact that I'm reporting for jury duty tomorrow is bringing me down a bit. Keep your fingers crossed that the courthouse has WiFi so at least I can get through a couple practice tests.

What's the five year plan?

2010-01-31T09:42:00.000-08:00

I've been obsessed lately with the idea of finding a run-down foreclosure and fixing it up bit by bit until it's almost completely unrecognizable. I think I've been spurred on by the fact that the boyfriend spends everyday doing this as a carpenter and has expressed a desire to do the same thing with our own house. There's a lot less anxiety on my part knowing that I won't have to handle the measuring, math, leveling part of it.

Of course, I'm certainly not the first person to do this, and not the first to blog about it. I found this awesome website the other day when I should have been focusing on Roth IRA conversions and year-end reporting. Oh well. Check out this website: http://www.brooklynlimestone.com/

Click here for a link to one of their before and after posts

What are today's happy pretty things?

2010-01-19T19:23:00.000-08:00

Emersonmade! I'm gushing over these gorgeous flowers. These are the types of things that I'd wear if I didn't know that all of my friends would laugh at me. Maybe I can get away with it now that Jessie lives in Denver...

All of these photos came from www.emersonmade.com

Love the scale! Love the colors! Love the styling in all of these photos. Can I be her please?

If anyone buys one of these clutches without getting me one I'll be a little upset.

What's the story with Brits and Hicks?

2010-01-19T19:17:00.001-08:00

I have a new theory.

British people (the Irish and Scottish included) are obsessed with the...how do I say this...more "folksy" segments of the American populace.

Perhaps it has something to do with the more rigid class structure that exists over there. The Gosford Park, Upstairs/Downstairs, mentality which has been engrained into their culture over centuries has established a more strict delineation between classes and therefore a greater fascination with the other side when those same upstairs individuals find themselves in the great melting pot that is the U.S. of A.

Hillbillies, trailer trash, hicks. North, South, in between. If you're more familiar with God Save the Queen, than God Bless America, you're going to love them.

Case in point: My cell phone rings at work the other day. Seeing that it's my boyfriend, the love of my life, the one who never wants to disturb me at work, I pick up quickly.

Me: "Hi Honey"

CM: "Babe? Can you get online and buy some tickets for me!?"

Me: Relieved that it's not an emergency but now slightly confused. "Um...sure. What's up?"

CM: "Did you know that Larry the Cable Guy's coming to the TD Garden next week?"

Me: Getting nervous... "I think I saw that I guess. You want tickets?"

CM: " Yeah! Morris and I are going to dress up in plaid shirts with the sleeves cut off and hang out with all the hillbillies. It's gonna be excellent!"

Me: Relieved again that I'm not expected to attend, cringing at the thought of those outfits "Ok Babe. It looks like the tickets are 80 bucks after all the fees and stuff. Still interested?"

CM: "Damn straight!"

Seriously? My previously mild-mannered boyfriend is a fan of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Deep breath, it's not a deal-breaker.

Washer on the Fritz?

2010-01-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

Mine is. So I'm sitting here. Waiting.

After hearing that my landlord could get a repairman here between 8-12 today and getting the ok from work, I made an off-hand comment that I'm sure that didn't mean they'd show up after 11:30. Well, it's 11:47 and I'm coming to the realization that I wasted my time by making a sandwich to bring to work. That sucker just converted from "to-go" to "for here."

Let's quickly reflect on the positives:

-It's snowing outside and instead of venturing out to commute this morning, I got to sleep in a bit and hang out in front of the fire.

-I'm catching up on the blog and the blogosphere in general.

- I called work and was told it's no big deal since the day is really quiet.

Of course, reflecting on the positives led me to immediately come up with a counterpoint for all of them.

-It will be worse going to work this afternoon after being lazy and warm all morning. Not to mention that I've been in work clothes since 8am hoping that this whole repair experience would be wrapped up in a timely fashion.

-It's not like crabbing on my blog was a real priority and I have access to all those people with more interesting blogs from work.

-No matter how late this joker from Sears is I still have to go into the office since all of my study materials are there and I need to hit up Trader Joe's and stock up for the weekend. UGH.

Time to call the above-referenced jokers again.

What's new this Christmas?

2009-12-21T17:48:00.000-08:00

In celebration of my first adult Christmas tree (which Conor faithfully toted home from Home Depot on his back for me) I took a thousand pictures of it with virtually every setting my camera had to offer. I have to say that it looks quite charming by the fireplace.

It was my grand idea to forgo the traditional Christmas tree stand in favor of a white ceramic planter from Ikea. It's all part of my new focus on multi-use, reusable objects. Is that redundant? It was also my bright idea to buy a package of logs to shim the tree into place since Home Depot didn't have any potting soil (which I had planned to reuse for plants on the deck this summer). I didn't realize that that was a lot easier said than done. Again, my resourceful and handy boy Conor came to the rescue and patiently worked it out for me after my 5 minutes of patience ran out. The end result was well worth it though.

The next dilemma was coming up with a creative (free) tree-topper. Who else to come to the rescue than the birthday boy himself? I think he looks pretty cozy nestled up there.

I also have to give a quick shout-out to my homemade door swag. I couldn't get a good picture in the tight hallway but you get the idea. Not bad for a bunch of boxwood from the supermarket, an old scarf, and a few grapevine spheres from a set of outdoor lights.

What are my daily distractions?

2009-12-09T19:23:00.000-08:00

Aside from the boys tossing the football over my head on a regular basis? Here's a list of my top ten daily go-to websites (in no particular order) that I sneak off to when I need a break from finance and spreadsheets and phones and testosterone and etc. etc. etc.

Why are bloggers (legitimate ones I mean) so much cooler than me? It's definitely my latest "when I grow up" profession. It's not just the blogging but there seem to be such interesting lives going on behind the scenes too. There's definitely an interior design, DIY, art and decor slant to all of these so it may not appeal to everyone. I for one wouldn't mind being anyone of these people for a day or two. I feel hipper just knowing that they exist.

Design*Sponge: Four words...Before and After Thursdays.

Apartment Therapy: I love it for the ideas, the pictures, and the sheer volume of posts. There's always something new up here.

OnceWed: I know that this is a little outside of my current sphere of relevance but it's all so pretty!

Little Green Notebook: This girl is so cute and adorable and she puts up great projects.

A Beach Cottage: A little cottage by the beach in Australia. I don't know if all white is my taste but it's refreshing to look at and she always writes the cutest blurbs.

A Bloomsbury Life: I stumbled across this one today via another blog and then before I knew it, an hour had gone by. Oops.

Young House Love: This couple is so cute, organized, and possibly better than me, that I wan to puke. But their blog is fun and they have a cute house.

Sunday Suppers: I've mentioned this one before but I still love it.

20x200: I'm currently obsessed with Christian Chaize's photos of a beach in Portugal. Will it be a little Christmas gift to myself?

Evernote: Not a blog but it's a great place to keep track of all the gorgeous images and inspiration I find everywhere else.

What's the rant/resolution of the day?

2009-12-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

I've never been big on New Year's resolutions. The whole idea of coming up with a list of your own shortcomings and the desperate ways you're going to promise yourself to be better has always seemed like a terrible way to round out the holidays. I also still have nightmares about Ms. Tanner baa-ing at us as 8th graders and telling us not to be sheep.

Whatever it is, I'm a bigger fan of being aware of your issues all year long and deciding to ignore or address them at will. That being said, I have a new...cough cough...resolution. I've decided that before I buy anything new, I will tailor, mend, or donate something I already own. Not to say that I can't stop by the mall after visiting the tailor at my drycleaner, I just realized that it's silly to want a new coat when I've got two at home that are out of rotation due to missing buttons.

I've always been a friend of the donation box when it comes to culling the wardrobe but, I've decided to take it one step further and finally get those pants hemmed, that skirt taken in, and those stupid buttons replaced. I made my first trip to the darling little woman at the drycleaner (she always great me, and everyone else I'm sure, with a "How ahhhhh you my dear?) tonight so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully writing my resolution down will afford me the level of guilt I need to stick with it.

Don't you love a flea market!?

2009-11-29T19:25:00.001-08:00

I finally made my first trip to the storied Todd Farm Flea Market in Rowley a couple of weekends ago. Mom, Minna, and I ventured out there in the early, very frosty morning to find a couple of necessities for my new place.

At the top of my list was a drop leaf dining table that I could fold up against a wall like a console table most of the time but seat four people at when "entertaining." I was armed with a wish list of other items and measurements for some of the odd lonely nooks around the apartment.

This place was MUCH bigger than I anticipated. We got there as most of the vendors were setting up but I immediately knew I was going to be battling with myself to ignore the tschotchkes and focus on the big items I needed. I had a budget and I was going to stick to it gosh darn it.

Stay away from the kitschy vintage things...

Avoid the giant fringy items...

...and score! Pictured in situ here at home, I found this little beauty of a mahogany side table about 30 minutes in to the flea market. I even got the seller to take 5 bucks off. I was so proud of my self-control and success with the table that I allowed myself to head back to the guy with the tables full of cast iron wonderments.

First there was the 3ft high flamingo for $20 who has since been dubbed Bernard. I also snagged a $5 mermaid hook for towels in the bathroom.

I didn't end up finding my drop leaf table at the flea market but I did nab it a The Stock Exchange in Manchester that afternoon. Cramming all of my treasures into Mom's Pontiac for the trip back to Boston was interesting but well worth it!

Time for a little DIY holiday spirit?

2009-11-29T19:10:00.001-08:00

It's been a little while since I broke into the craft cart. I have to say that I'm pretty pleased with my new garland. This only took about 30 minutes to throw together and I have plenty of stickers left. There may be more of these beauties in my future...

You may have noticed Bernard at his new post next to the fireplace. He was a recent flea market find. More on him later.

Is it time for new colors?

2009-11-17T19:18:00.000-08:00

I was going for a new color scheme that was clean, fresh, and evoked a sense of "oooh look at that pretty blog. That girl must have great style." Unfortunately, I got easily discouraged when confronted with only 60 colors and decided to look for the bottom of the Hint of Lime Tostitos bag. We'll see how I feel about it tomorrow.

P.S. 60 colors is a lot less than it sounds when you consider that 12 of them are black and grays and another 15 are just too icky. I'm not good at math but that leaves me with fewer choices than I'd like.

What does my new place look like?

2009-11-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

I promise to get exciting "after" shots up as soon as I'm happy with the place. I think I'm one more weekend of organizing and an Ikea trip away from getting there. Until then, here are a few quick shots of the "before." Note the cute Irish boy who stopped by early to help me unload the car and give me drinks to make it through the day ;)

Living Room

Kitchen

Hallway

Office (LOVE my french doors!)

Bedroom with a view to the deck

What's a Lazy Way to Update Your Blog?

2009-08-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

Take someone else's beautiful, inspiring, and regularly updated blog and put a link to it on your blog. Voila! You now have a new post and you've provided your rapidly dwindling number of readers with content that's much more interesting that anything you could provide.

Click here for Sunday Suppers!

I found this via Design*Sponge (the newest tool in my procrastination arsenal) and they always have the greatest photos. Someday I will have my own home and the resources to set tables with gorgeous flowers arranged in vintage containers, mismatched silver, and sumptuous yet approachable homemade food. Until then, I'll sit on my borrowed single bed in the back bedroom of Johnny and Mary's house while I pay for all of my things to sit in storage in Allston. Ho hum.

How Beautiful is Your Commute Home?

2009-08-19T19:29:00.000-07:00

Thank you commuter rail.

Like Babies?

2009-08-19T19:10:00.001-07:00

I don't know about all babies but I'm a big fan of my new nephew Noah:

So tiny!!

The proud Big Brother (still prefers the solo photo shoots though)

Need a laugh?

2009-07-17T12:57:00.000-07:00

Cheers to Helen for sending me this little gem.

Watch out Hipsters!

Granted it's a little off color and I only looked at the first couple of posts, but it's Friday. Get over it.

Forcing it or renewed self-motivation?

2009-07-07T17:48:00.000-07:00

Ok. It's been more than 5 months since my last post. I accept the fact that this is too long. The question then becomes: Is it too late to pick it back up? Has the spell been broken between me and my once fresh and snappy blog? Have I turned my back on my former outlet for snarky thoughts and observations? This already isn't funny. Sorry.

Inspired by Jessie's recent foray into blogging and the fact that this blog has lasted longer than most..er all of my adult relationships, I'm giving it another go.

Just putting it out there. I'll follow up with something that's actually entertaining later. Until then, enjoy the new color scheme.

What's the recipe for a successful New Year's Eve?

2009-01-22T18:27:00.000-08:00

1. Spend most of December telling people that you don't care about New Year's and are sure that you'll end up doing something fun.

2. String along your friend Jenn for a couple weeks telling her that you think her idea of attending a Great Gatsby themed party at a boutique hotel is great but you need to hear back from your other friends before you commit.

3. 1 week before, realize that you have nothing else going on and it's time to hone in on a plan.

4. At the same time, get really excited about finding a 1920s outfit.

5. Realize that you only have 2 days (after work) to find said outfit.

6. Invite your childhood friends who now live on the West Coast to come over and watch you get ready. I promise it won't be awkward at all. Even after Pam tells you that your shirt doesn't fit. It's cool.

7. Have a couple glasses of champagne and pose for the camera.

8. Attend party and have a wicked time.

9. Commence drunken aggressive hugging phase.

10. Get lost behind your own hair.

11. Wake up the next day with all of your makeup on your pillowcase wondering how you got home.

Have you laughed hysterically today?

2009-01-22T16:33:00.000-08:00

If not, here you go. You're welcome.

The Best Thing I've Seen In A While

P.S. Yes, I know that I'm being lazy by just posting links to other people's blogs. I'm working on it.

What Are Your Resolutions?

2008-12-30T08:41:00.000-08:00

Personally, I prefer not to set myself up for a year of failure right out of the gate. However, in honor of the new year and all of those pesky resolutions everyone is going to come up with but never fufill, here are some websites to help you in your quest for self-improvement.

WARNING: That resolution to be more productive at work is about to go right out the window.

Resolution #1: Finally do something about that million dollar idea before someone else beats you to it.
http://www.inventionshowcase.com/inventions1.htm
Who's not a fan of the "Better Marriage Blanket?"

Resolution #2: Improve your vocabulary.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/
Make sure to scroll to the bottom and check out the lists.

Resolution #3: Be more aware of your surroundings. http://failblog.org/2008/10/18/juxtaposition-fail-3/
Keep clicking at the top for more.

Resolution #4: Be respectful of other people's hard work and creativity.
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
The snarkiness on this blog is outstanding.

Thanks to Jeb and Helen for keeping me informed on the latest websites that are immune to the company firewall. Happy New Year!

Why don't people in my generation date anymore?

2008-11-14T09:15:00.001-08:00

The following is an excerpt from a conversation two of my friends had at work over Skype today. If you have the patience to read through the whole thing, I think it's evidence that girls are just as crazy as boys sometimes. Let's start a national movement to eliminate setting up dates via text message...it just screws up everything. Please note, I have changed names to protect those that tend to over-think situations and intentions.

[9:57:46 AM] ohmanyessie says: you're going on a date, right? ;)
[9:57:59 AM] Anonymous says: NO
[9:58:03 AM] ohmanyessie says: no?
[9:58:05 AM] Anonymous says: he was terrible
[9:58:08 AM] Anonymous says: so cocky
[9:58:10 AM] ohmanyessie says: what?
[9:58:15 AM] ohmanyessie says: what happened?
[10:02:18 AM] Anonymous says: well he called when i was at katie's so i couldnt pick up
[10:02:20 AM] Anonymous says: leaves a message
[10:03:19 AM] Anonymous says: saying, "hi it's tim, dont know if you remember me but im pretty sure we have plans this weekend, it's going to be on saturday night now because i have a family obligation, so what we are going to do is meet up and go to ned devines and have an exquisite time so call me back so we can figure it all out
[10:04:00 AM] Anonymous says: 1. he just blew me off for tomorrow and didn't ask if i was available on saturday. 2. Ned devines??? basically he wants me to go get wasted with him
[10:04:11 AM] ohmanyessie says: yeah....
[10:04:21 AM] ohmanyessie says: he seems kinda cocky, huh?
[10:04:29 AM] Anonymous says: so i text back saying, i can't talk right now but ned devines is the surprise? i'm not impressed
[10:04:40 AM] ohmanyessie says: wow!
[10:04:46 AM] ohmanyessie says: did he write back?
[10:04:58 AM] Anonymous says: and he writes, im not trying to impress you i'm just trying to get you dancing
[10:05:03 AM] Anonymous says: ew!
[10:05:34 AM] ohmanyessie says: hmmm, that's not what you wanted to hear
[10:06:52 AM] ohmanyessie says: i'm sorry
[10:06:55 AM] ohmanyessie says: so you're not going to go?
[10:08:41 AM] Anonymous says: yeah i'm not going. but i might meet up with my bates girls
[10:08:42 AM] ohmanyessie says: unless....you wanna go out and dance and get drunk and make out tomorrow night...then....maybe
[10:08:57 AM] Anonymous says: well the conversation didnt end there
[10:09:06 AM] ohmanyessie says: DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL JUST A RAT IN A CAGE**
[10:09:09 AM] ohmanyessie says: oh!
[10:09:13 AM] ohmanyessie says: continue please.
[10:09:15 AM] Anonymous says: oooo good one1
[10:09:47 AM] Anonymous says: so after his dancing comment i said i have plans on saturday night
[10:09:52 AM] Anonymous says: and he said at ned devines?
[10:10:01 AM] ohmanyessie says: ha
[10:10:09 AM] Anonymous says: and i said i have a friend in town
[10:10:13 AM] Anonymous says: he said me too he's been here all week
[10:10:19 AM] Anonymous says: lets meet up and have some laughs
[10:10:36 AM] ohmanyessie says: wow he's persistent
[10:10:47 AM] Anonymous says: and i wrote, word of advice. take the girl out to dinner once before you tell her to meet you at ned devines
[10:11:02 AM] Anonymous says: and he wrote what kind of food do you like
[10:11:04 AM] Anonymous says: and i stopped responding
[10:12:57 AM] ohmanyessie says: it sounds like he's really trying to see you, Anonymous
[10:13:00 AM] Anonymous says: it's pretty clear what his intentions are, and to be honest i'm up for having fun. but i dont like that he built up this surprise date and then just cancels and tells me i'm going out on saturday night to ned devines
[10:13:17 AM] ohmanyessie says: he didn't really build it up, though did he?
[10:13:33 AM] ohmanyessie says: he probably had no idea what he was going to do
[10:13:58 AM] Anonymous says: ned devines though?? i mean ive only been there when i'm blacked out
[10:14:16 AM] ohmanyessie says: i just feel like i'd love for a guy who is tall, dark and handsome to call me a week after randomly making out at a bar and make funny jokes about going out again
[10:14:23 AM] ohmanyessie says: i've had good times at ned devine's
[10:14:35 AM] Anonymous says: yeah but i think it's sleezy
[10:14:45 AM] ohmanyessie says: well you don't want to feel sleezy
[10:14:55 AM] ohmanyessie says: and i think you should do what you want
[10:15:07 AM] Anonymous says: i dont like that he canceled the day before and said we're going on saturday instead without apologizing or asking if i'm free on saturday
[10:15:25 AM] ohmanyessie says: yeah
[10:15:26 AM] Anonymous says: i'm just trying to avoid cocky a*holes when i can
[10:15:53 AM] Anonymous says: if i feel like getting drunk and making out maybe i will
[10:16:02 AM] ohmanyessie says: i don't blame you
[10:16:17 AM] Anonymous says: but i'd like to try to hold myself at a higher standard

** My friend and I had just made plans to go to the Smashing Pumpkins concert tonight. So excited!!

What are concerts at The Paradise like these days?

2008-09-28T17:25:00.000-07:00

I'm guessing they are a bit different than back in the day when my parents saw Jan & Dean there.* Sarah and I ventured out mid-week and got the full experience. What follows is a brief timeline of highlights**:

8:15: Sarah and I arrive and scope out a largely empty venue. The bulk of the activity is centered left of the stage where 3 girls are cheering on 2 obese white guys rapping about growing up in Lowell, MA. I heard the phrase "Mill city hip hop" thrown around quite a bit. It's important to note that they had a buddy standing behind a speaker and cueing up their fresh beats on an iPod for them.

8:18: The wonder twins wrap up their song.

"Thank you very much! Anybody here from Lowell?"

Inordinate screams from the 3 girls up front

"You ladies from Lowell?"

In unison "No way! We're from Fall RivAH! Whooooooo!"

Sarah and I suddenly realize that these girls are way ahead of us and head to the bar for PBR tall boys.

8:23: As the Wannabes from Western Mass launch into to their favorite song, "MySpace Bitches", Sarah and I sit down in an effort to ignore the lyrics and focus on people-watching.

8:38: During the second opener, who was actually very talented and politically conscious, I run into a girl from college that I haven't seen in years. As I try and ignore her twitching, follow her rambling conversation, and figure out how she ended up at this concert in particular, it dawns on me that there are a few more chemicals in play than I realized. I slowly extract myself from the conversation and focus back on the performer who is taking off his clothes to reveal a red white and blue Evel Knievel jumpsuit.

9:46: While waiting for the headliner to come on, I catch the 3 girls from Fall River looking at me and talking. Before I have a chance to mentally review my self defense moves, one of them is walking towards me.

"If yah wunderin' why my girlfriend's lookin atcha it's becahse ur drinking P.B.Ahs. She fahckin loves that beah. It's huh fahvorite!"

Stunned into silence by the onslaught of a South Shore accent, I say nothing as she walks back to her two wobbly friends. I feebly raise my beer and let out a breath of relief that I don't have to explain away a black eye at work tomorrow.

9:53: Still waiting for the headliner, I decide that this would be a good time to make friends with my Fall Rivah Fans. (I'm 3 deep at this point) I stroll over and cheers them.

"So you guys are from Fall River?"

"Fahck yeah we are!" says the one I met earlier

"Oh cool. I lived in Providence for a while so I know a couple people from there."

Silence. Why am I trying polite conversation with these girls!? I change tacks.

"So you guys like PBR?"

The one who was looking at me earlier perks up. "Fahck yeah I do! Lemme tell you something. I'd be drinking one right now except that bahtender won't serve me. She said she wouldn't gimme a beah because I'm hobbling around. I broke my fahcking leg. I'm in a gahddamn brace. Of cawse I'm hobbling. Gimme a fahcking beah! That girl's a C**T."

Thankfully at that same moment Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip started playing. It was an awesome show.

*That's a true story by the way. My parents went there (post Dead Man's Curve) on one of their first dates.

**All times are approximate.

WTF?

2008-09-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

BEIJING (Reuters) - A once drug-addled elephant fed heroin-laced bananas by illegal traders will return home after emerging clean from a three-year detox programme on China's tropical island province of Hainan.

The four-year-old bull elephant, referred to alternately as "Big Brother" or "Xiguang" in state media reports, was captured in 2005 in southwest China by traders who used spiked bananas to control him.

After police arrested the traders and freed Xiguang a few months later, the elephant was confirmed to be suffering from withdrawal symptoms and sent to a wild animal protection centre in Hainan for rehab, Xinhua news agency said on Thursday.

A year of methadone injections at five times the human dosage had helped wean Xiguang off his addiction.

Now clean, Xiguang was expected to arrive on Saturday at a wildlife park in Kunming, capital of the elephant's home province of Yunnan on the mainland.

Xiguang's return would cap a 1,500-km journey home, Xinhua said, and mark another step in the elephant's triumph over addiction.

¿Como se llama su llama?

2008-08-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

Jessie recently returned from Peru. It was the latest in her whirlwind adventures around the globe. It was only during a weekend jaunt to Maine to visit her parents that I discovered she had met a new friend in Peru who ended up traveling back with her. The friend's name is Judy. Judy had been staying at her parent's cottage since her arrival on U.S. soil and part of the motivation for returning to Maine was to escort Judy home with us on the Amtrak. This turned into a little more than we bargained for since Judy is a llama.

Ok. I'm lying. She's a baby alpaca and she was a huge hit with the Amtrak staff.

Yes, that is a picture of a Chinese statue with Jessie's face super-imposed on it.

Did I mention that we also got free tap lessons from the world famous Sally Caldwell Fisher? She's extremely exclusive so we're lucky she was in a generous mood.

Can you stand it!?

2008-08-17T15:09:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I've played the obsessed aunt. Bath time in the laundry sink. Is there anything better?

Have you checked out the map lately?

2008-08-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

Really quick: I take a significant amount of satisfaction from checking out the map on the left side of my blog and looking at all the dots.The dots represent the people all over the world who have looked at my blog. It's extremely vain. I get that.

How come I don't get more comments from you people? How did you get here? Is it a six degrees type situation where all of these people are connected through the 6 friend blogs I have listed? I'm dying to know.

Of course I'm aware of my core readers (i.e. my friends) and can account for their dots in Boston, Providence, Seattle, New York and Denver but all the others? I don't have any relatives chilling off the coast of Madagascar or summering in Iceland. At least none that I know of. Uncle Olaf? Make yourself known please.

How slow is it?

2008-07-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

It's so slow that I have snuck onto my blog to post during work. This has only happened once in the whole 15 months I've been with The Firm. That was Tuesday. I don't talk about The Firm because The Firm doesn't advertise. Unlike Bossman, The Firm is a real employer with real expectations. They will probably find out that I'm blogging on the company dime and there will be repercussions. Makes you feel a little dangerous right?

A slow office is a very funny place. Especially when all of your management team has enough sense to take the day off. It's like a bad indoor recess. We're a half an hour from the bell ringing and people are really beginning to snap. One of our advisors just hid their phone in one girl's filing and preceded to call it every 5 seconds just to drive the her nuts. I wish it was as entertaining as the episode of The Office where Jim hides Andy's phone in the ceiling. It wasn't.

The whole situation is exacerbated by the fact that our internet network blocks out most of the interesting sites to visit online. People are reduced to re-reading CNN.com or browsing the new sale items on PotteryBarn.com. One connected employee had a friend send him flash versions of Tetris and Pac-Man that are disguised as Excel documents so they don't get flagged on the way in. That's what we've been reduced to...domestic cellular terrorism and contraband Atari games. Who knew the Financial District was a Communist enclave?

Are you next? Am I next!?

2008-07-08T19:01:00.000-07:00

Let's reflect on this whole "catching the bouquet" thing for a moment. As I understand it, it's customary for the bride to throw her bouquet into a group of all the unmarried, female guests at her wedding. The idea is that whoever catches the bouquet is destined to be the next one to be married. When I was a little girl, I always thought of how magical it would be to catch the bouquet and know that I would be one karmic step closer to my own big day. Having just recently returned from a wedding, it seems that attitudes towards this age old wedding tradition may be changing.

Perhaps it's a sign of the times. Perhaps cynicism is winning. Perhaps it was because we were in California and everything works a little bit differently there. Whatever the case may be, my first bouquet toss experience was nothing like I (or my 10 year-old self) expected it to be. To be fair, I have been to a couple other weddings. However, I was either too young or, in one recent and much more amusing case, too drunk to participate in the gaggle of single girls grasping for that iconic floral symbol of marital hope.

Then came Hilary and Josh's wedding. Sometime after the mountain top ceremony and before the barefoot dancing to a gypsy jazz band, word spread through the crowd that Hilary was getting ready to throw the bouquet. Personally, I wasn't all that thrilled to join the throng. Having no boyfriend/fiance/male life partner to speak of, I didn't really feel like robbing some other, more relationship-ly inclined girl of her chance to be "next."

What I quickly realized is that none of the other girls around were too keen on it either. After lots of huffing from us and lots of prodding from the aunts and mothers in attendance, we assembled one of the most lackluster bands of bouquet-catchers in history. I thought I had positioned myself well. I stood in the back and way off to the side. I was behind tall people. I refrained from making eye contact with the Hilary in case she mistook my apathy for quiet desperation. Then the moment came. Purple calla lillies and orange rosebuds were flying through the air. Time really did slow down (that part of the stereotype is absolutely true). I breathed a sigh of relief after taking stock of the bouquet's trajectory and deciding it was definitely headed right at the girl in front of me.

That was until she turned into Keanu Reeves.

It a move we had all only ever seen in the Matrix trilogy, this girl simultaneously bent backwards and twisted to the side. I swear her hair brushed the ground. I guess there is something to be said for all the yoga those hippie girls do. The projectile in question sailed over her right hip and smacked on the ground at my feet. My second-hand Catholic guilt and neurosis automatically took over and I mindlessly scooped up the flowers so A) Hilary wouldn't be disappointed when she turned around and B) because you really shouldn't let nice things like that hit the ground. Thinking that all the symbolism and voodoo had been beaten out of it, I was surprised when I was met with hooting, hollering, and the mad flash of the photographer's camera in my face. I think I was too dazed to say anything but "It doesn't count right?" over and over again.

Note the Deer-in-the-Headlights expression

Where the Hell is Matt?

2008-07-08T18:50:00.000-07:00

Yeah! to Helen for showing me this. It made my day. Well...the video and the two jack and cokes I drank when I got home...

Click here to check out this guy's website!

Am I cut out for the California Lifestyle?

2008-07-04T20:14:00.001-07:00

The jury's still out on that one. I did have one heck of a time on my first trip to California though. I finally made it out to the West Coast for Hilary's wedding and tacked a trip to San Francisco onto the end. In typical fashion, the trip was not without incident. Jessie and I were off to an auspicious start after being upgraded to a convertible for free by our new friend Alex at the Oakland airport National. After picking up Molly T. at the airport we even made it all the way up to Dunsmuir, CA without help. For those of you who aren't familiar, Dunsmuir is 5 hours north of Oakland. It's near Mt. Shasta and the city of Weed but those landmarks don't mean much...even to people who are from California.

All was well until we began the trek up to Pine-gri-la (yes, that was the name of the place that Hilary was having her wedding...hippie) for the rehearsal dinner. To get there, we departed from the Dunsmuir Lodge (read motor lodge from Psycho) and began the 40 minute drive up a treacherous mountain road. The top was down, hair was blowing, pictures were being taken, and suddenly, a tire was popping. Some say it was one of the shards of fallen rock littering the side of the road. Some say it was a disgruntled mountain pygmie armed with a blowgun. Either way, we had a large hole in the side wall of our front right tire.

Luckily, Alan, an unsuspecting wedding guest, was driving behind and pulled over to rescue us.

The wedding ended up being really beautiful and we didn't plummet off the side of the mountain. It was obviously a little crunchy but it was perfect for Hilary and the location was gorgeous.

I spent the next week in San Francisco as the guest of Molly W. who was an excellent host. I explored the city by bus and it's safe to say that it's THE perfect way to get to know the local crazies. They were so crazy that I didn't dare try to capture them on film. I also finally got to see the Churchills and meet their brand new twins, Arlo and Felix. It was wonderful to meet the boys and catch up with Alex and Jessie after such a long time.

I think I'm still going to call New England home for a while longer. The City is great but I prefer all the sarcastic bastards that live on the East Coast and appreciate my jokes.

What's the latest from Asia?

2008-06-09T18:38:00.000-07:00

I will not be surprised if she gets arrested at the border with a brick of hasish in her carry-on. Poor thing. She was always such a sweet girl.

6/3/08 11:22pm EST (via text message)

Any idea what this item is? "This article can kill to put quickly, pouring the ball, gern, Ecoli, golden color. staphylococcus, white beads gern etc... Keep gern from crasing effectirely inefecially the sexual intercourse uses in front and back. Operation method: take this article to smears over directly in the usage part, soon afterward the clear water hurdles clean then." We have no idea what it is and those are not typos on my part!

Will all of my posts have an Asian twinge from now on?

2008-06-09T18:28:00.000-07:00

Probably not but the next few will. Besides, Asia is so hot right now.

On Sunday, after a massive hippie house party at Sarah's, we dragged ourselves down to the Charles to watch Will and the rest of the SunLife team battle it out in the annual Dragon Boat Races. While I was entirely too hungover to remember a camera, there are plenty of pictures on the website to prove that this is actually a pretty serious thing.

www.bostondragonboat.org

What's the latest from Asia?

2008-06-04T05:58:00.000-07:00

Our little jetsetter Jessie has been off on a whirlwind tour of China for the past week. Although I miss her, her dispatches from the front have been extremely entertaining. Thank goodness it's a work trip and her company proveded her with a global cell phone!

5/29/08 6:40pm EST
I need to take a shower but the directions say this in the shower:
"To head up to open the big circular switch the water comes out."
Eh??
Jessie

5/30/08 4:47am EST
I ate it in the summer palace in beijing. I slid down a slippery step and landed on my ass and scraped the hell outta my elbow. Thought you'd appreciate that.
P.s. Liz and I are celebs here- people ask to have their pics taken with us everywhere we go!
Jessie

5/31/08 11:54pm EST
Just went to the blast furnace- it was actually fascinating!!! It was like being inside of the Discovery Channel's "How It's Made"!

I'm learning a lot about socialism but I still don't really understand. My legs are sore from climbing the Great Wall- no one ever tells you how steep that wall is! We have rice with every meal. They supplied us with face wash in the room that supposedly "removes fatty secretions from your face." Also, there is a sign in the bathroom that says "Be careful! Landslide!"
We're going to Xi'an tomorrow!
Jessie

6/3/08 2:15am (via text message)
Hi! I'm in Xi'an today- got the crap kicked out of me in a chinese massage and eating a lot of rice! XOXO

6/3/08 10:52pm EST
I'm in shanghai now, and I'd give a kidney for a latte. Apparently there are 72 starbucks here though, so I should be in luck, and not have to sacrifice any organs.
I can't wait to see your place! I feel like the trip is flying by, but we are still gone for so long!!
I can't wait to show you what we got at the terra cotta warrior museum yesterday- by far the most treasured thing I've gotten yet. I think it will be nice for jeb's birthday. Hint: it has my face on it.

What's new?

2008-05-28T19:13:00.000-07:00

Hi there.

A list of random updates:

-I'm moving on Saturday. My new landlord, who lives next door, should provide some good blogging material. When I first met him I was a little embarrassed to show up deviously hungover and wearing a Red Sox hat until Larry welcomed us in a Hawaiian shirt with exactly two buttons fastened. I assume that this was chosen to better display the gold chains across his curiously hairless chest. More to come on that one.

-Speaking of Red Sox, I've been to 2 home games so far this season...both wins. I'm officially considering myself their good luck charm. I know they still win when I'm not there. Let me live with my fantasy.

-Big vacation coming up in June! I'm finally making the trip to California for a wedding and an extended stay in San Francisco. I'm very excited to check in with the long lost Wiebe and meet Alex and Jessie's baby boys.

-After receiving a very interesting pick-up line "Scuse...Are you from the UK?" I have scheduled a rendez-vous between my friend Sarah and I and two Italian engineers that I met in Cambridge. Half of me thinks it's a joke and they are actually American theatre majors practicing their accents. The other half hopes they are the real deal and the cute one will whisk me off to Tuscany. Pronto! Fillippo! Guiseppe!

Hopefully I will get my pictures online sometime soon and share some of the sights and sounds of The Hub in the summertime.

Camel Toads?

2008-05-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

Click on the picture to read the whole article!!

Lightning Bolt!?

2008-03-31T21:38:00.001-07:00

I know it's been a while but I'm still trying to connect with my brother over this whole LARPing thing (that's right, I've been corrected on the proper spelling). He says he's not really doing it anymore but, like any junkie, I know he's only one Tolkien short story and a Jolt Cola away from becoming the lightning bolt kid in this video:

When's the last time I did something worth blogging about?

2008-03-31T21:12:00.001-07:00

Last Friday. Went to a house party, found a book of monkey portraits, and put Jessie's camera to work. Cheers to Liz and her roommates for having friends that would put up with a drunk stranger (yours truly) coming up to them and coaching them to simian-imitation greatness.

What did you dress your cat up as for Halloween?

2007-10-30T19:18:00.001-07:00

Introducing the Target Cat Hat. Enjoy it more than Skippy did.

How do you dress for air travel?

2007-10-17T17:13:00.000-07:00

Here are a few airport fashion observations from a recent domestic flight in America. I apologize in advance for the poor picture quality...I had to take them on the sly to avoid agitating the natives.

First of all: Despite the overall silliness of a hat this size, what do you do with it when you get into the airplane? No way there's enough headroom for that sucker.

Second, I was in Cincinnati, not San Juan. This hat did not come from a local souvenir shop. That leads me to believe that he brought it with him. This hat has made it on at least 2 planes. Wowzers.

Ok I'm sorry. There's obviously a lot going on here so let's focus it in. That is an ergonomic neck pillow shaped like a cat. It curls around your neck like a sleeping animal. Ewwww.

I'm headed to Florida (aka the land of jean shorts and embroidered tshirts) this weekend so hopefully I'll have some follow-up shots soon.

WTF?

2007-10-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

Oh BBC news...You always provide me with the hard-hitting important news that the American media ignores...

"North Carolina Pair Feud Over Leg"
Tuesday, 2 October 2007

The leg was stored in a smoker after Mr Wood lost his home
A US man who stored his amputated leg in a barbecue smoker that was later auctioned off is locked in a custody dispute with the man who bought it. John Wood's smoker was sold to Shannon Whisnant last week after he fell behind on payments at the storage facility in North Carolina where it was kept.

He wants his leg back but Mr Whisnant says he has a receipt for the smoker's contents and wants to share ownership.

Mr Wood's leg was amputated above the knee after a plane crash in 2004.

He asked to keep the leg so he could be buried as a whole man when he died, and stored it at the facility in Maiden after losing his home.

But when Mr Wood failed to pay the necessary rental fees, the storage company auctioned the smoker and all its contents.

After buying the smoker last Tuesday, Mr Whisnant looked inside and found a man's leg wrapped in a wire screen.

Halloween's just around the corner - the price will go up if I get the leg
Shannon Whisnant

He initially gave the leg to the police, who concluded it had not been removed as a result of a crime and sent it to a funeral home until Mr Wood could pick it up.

But after making money by charging adults $3 (£1.47) and children $1 (49p) to look inside the empty smoker, Mr Whisnant asked for it back.

His request was refused by the funeral home, so he decided to try to persuade Mr Wood to share custody and profits.

"I told him I'd share custody of it..." Mr Whisnant said.

"It's a strange incident and Halloween's just around the corner. The price will go up if I get the leg."

Mr Wood, who now lives in Greenville, South Carolina, has insisted he is not interested in using the leg to make money and plans to travel to Maiden as soon as possible to reclaim it.

"I just think it's despicable," he said.

"I don't mind having the 15 minutes of fame, but I'm not looking to really profit off this thing.

"He's making a freak show out of it."

Having had his offer rejected, Mr Whisnant has threatened to begin legal action if the leg is not returned to him by next week.

He says he has a receipt showing he bought both the smoker and its contents at the auction.

"Everybody knows it's mine, period," he said. "And if anyone tries to take it, I want everything they got."

What do you do when your brother is one of these kids?

2007-09-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

I've been wrestling with this one for a while now. I think it's time to get it all out in the open. LJ, I'm sorry if you read this champ but it's time for some religion. My brother goes Larping. If you're normal, you have no idea what this means. Even if you're generally abnormal, you probably have no idea what this is.

Upon returning to the homestead a couple of weekends ago, I was informed that my younger brother was camping. Camping? But LJ's an indoor kid I said to myself. Here's an abbreviated version of the conversation with my parents that followed:

Me: "Where is he camping?"
Dad: "Out in western Mass. somewhere."
Me: " Who did he go with? He hates camping."
Mom: (acting cagey and embarassed) "You know, some of his gaming friends...and the ex-girlfriend..."
Me: "What!? They just broke up right? Do you really think that's a good idea?"
Dad: (getting defensive and trying to escape to the den) "That's what we said. He said they weren't really going to see eachother...Besides, he already paid for it"
Me: "Paid for it? What kind of camping trip do you have to pay for? And how is he not going to see the ex? She weighs 300 pounds."

This went back and forth for a little while and cycled through several levels of visible discomfort and evasiveness from the parents until they finally came out with it.

LJ was on a role-playing camping trip a la Dungeons & Dragons at a renaissance fairground in the western Massachusetts with about 70 other people who would be dressed in full costume and partaking in epic battle recreations with homemade weapons.

These are some honest-to-God Larpers

That's right. LJ emerged from the woods with this kid who definitely looked like he had spent some significant time under a mossy rock. When I asked what was wrong with his forehead (it was all red and broken out) he said his skin was reacting to being covered in greasepaint all weekend. Yikes.

Harrasaurus Rex?

2007-09-25T19:32:00.000-07:00

While I don't know how I feel about the nickname, I'll definitely keep the nephew. Spunkiest little one year old I know....

Have you been keeping up on your news?

2007-08-05T10:52:00.000-07:00

Alright. I know it's been a while. Let's jump right in to some notable headlines:

Arkansas couple welcomes 17th child
Fri Aug 3, 10:56 AM ET

Michelle Duggar, left, is surrounded by her children and husband Jim Bob, top left, while she holds her newborn daughter, Jennifer Danielle, Thursday, Aug. 2, 2007 in Rogers, Ark. Jennifer Danielle was born at 10:01 a.m., weighed 8 lbs 8 oz, was 21 inches long, and is the 17th child born to Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar. (AP Photo/Beth Hall)

This is crazy. You may or may not be familiar with the Duggar family. I for one have been keeping track of their exploits since stumbling across the Discovery Channel special "14 Kids and One On The Way!". That was 3 kids ago. I think you have to be absolutely mental to be pregnant for 10.5 years (thanks Discovery Health fun facts). In the news article Michelle Duggar, the only member of the family whose name does not start with J, said that she was surprised that her labor only lasted about 30 minutes. Excuse me Michelle? You must be on some serious drugs to have deluded yourself into thinking that you still have any muscle retention left down there.

"Bid to break kazoo record fails"
Thu Aug 2, 11:53 PM ET

NEW YORK - Members of a 1980s funk and disco group hit a sour note in their attempt to break the world record for the largest kazoo ensemble, falling short of the some 2,600 impromptu musicians needed.

Speaking of ridiculous ways to spend your time. I for one have always been somewhat annoyed by people who pursue world records in the first place. Who cares if you were able to keep 10 plates spinning simultaneously for 24 hours while bouncing on pogo stick and singing James Taylor? Big Whoop. Your 38. Get a life. Why don't you try breaking your own world record for longest amount of time spent acting like an utter clown?

In that vein, I get a sick satisfaction when I read about people who fail miserably at breaking a record. These particular jokers tried to break the record for largest kazoo ensemble. These people put in some work to keep everything on the up and up for this miserably inadequate record attempt. They brought in Barbara Stewart, a professional kazooist (again, grow up and do something worthwhile) to instruct the crowd since all participants had to be deemed "'proficient' players, in accordance with Guinness World Records requirements."

Who comes up with these requirements? In my mind, it's a group of old British men sitting around in a smoky, wood paneled room arguing about important world issues like the circumference of hula hoops and whether the face on that piece of toast looks like the Virgin Mary or Marv Albert. Wait...those are the guys from Ripley's Believe It or Not...Don't even get me started on them.

What's the recipe for a quintessential Maine weekend?

2007-07-07T11:28:00.000-07:00

Gather 4 girls with a penchant for alcohol, shopping, and sunshine.

Combine with a VW convertible and drive to the Freeport outlets.

Mix in a stripey seaside lunch of seafood in the sunshine

Sprinkle in a lingerie wearing shit-zsu and some hot outfits

Order up a first-time-ever lobster dinner for your roommate from the Midwest

Shake until sauced

Do you Manu?

2007-06-27T18:09:00.000-07:00

Despite a Providence hangover of monstrous proportions, Jessie held me to my commitment of attending the Manu Chao concert at Avalon on Sunday. I am so glad went! It was amazing. Take a look at the crowd in this video. We got to see him in a venue about a 10th of the size and he was just as amazing if not better. They came on for 3 encores. AMAZING. Check him out if he moseys your way. I mean it.

How do you beat the heat?

2007-06-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

Seriously...I'm looking for suggestions. I know there are only about .3 really hot days in the grand scheme of a year in New England but, right now, I'm considering selling my left arm for an air conditioner. I don't even like air conditioning. It gives me headaches ad makes my throat dry. Ok sorry. Too much information. My temporary solution is a large pitcher of frozen raspberry margaritas and mindless reality television. On to more fun things...

I finally returned to Providence this past weekend, got reacquainted with my old futon while a guest at Jeri Ann's and, crammed quite a bit of catching up (drinking) and nostalgia into a short weekend. Jeri Ann invited me down for a belated going away barbeque which was very sweet and really fun! I think the fact that I came away with only one picture from the whole weekend proves that it was jampacked...with drinking. The picture was of Jeri Ann's dog wearing his Hawaiian shirt. I'm not going to post it because I think the blog's been a little animal heavy lately. Nevertheless and long story short, I had a great weekend in the PVD even though some parts are a little fuzzy. As always, everyone's welcome to come visit in Boston!

If it wasn't so G-D hot, I'm sure I'd be funnier.

What's the best thing you can do for your cat?

2007-06-10T20:05:00.000-07:00

One of the first deliveries to our new apartment was Howard the cat. Howie is Jessie's cat who had been boarding with her parents while she lived with allergic roommates. Now that we're in an allergy-frre zone, it was time for Jessie to resume responsibility for him. Just for some background, Howard is a 13 year-old Himalayan fomerly belonging to Jessie's grandmother. Think Jinxy cat from Meet The Parents:

Anyway, it was soon determined that Howie was in need of a grooming. Obviously, cats like Howie require a higher level of maintenance than most. More hair leads to more mats. More mats lead to the "lion cut." With a little bit of nudging from me and a educated explanation from our new German friend at "No Bones About It," Jessie dropped of a normal looking, slightly bedraggled Himalayan and picked up one of the most uniquely entertaining characters I've ever been privelaged enough to know. Behold, the new and more aerodynamic, lion-cut Howard:

It's amazing. I know. Call me up and you can see him in person anytime.

Back With a Vengeance

2007-06-07T18:21:00.000-07:00

Hello faithful friends.

I am finally relocated in lovely Brighton. Referred to by some as the "post college ghetto" or "the slums", our apartment is a cozy oasis in the midst of sweatpant clad 20-somethings and clattering T trains. My two roommates and I have put a great deal of effort into creating more than just a temporary dwelling. The result is a mature yet comfortable tribute to being a few years out of college and making the most of the resources at our disposal. Four days after our move-in and we're already throwing our first dinner party. Amanda came over for a delicious dinner facilitated by Trader Joe's groceries, my cooking, and Jessie's ambiance-creation abilities.

Look how mature and entertaining my friends are.

The move-in experience was one of the most ridiculous and frustrating experiences of my life. Most of you have already heard the details so I won't go into it here. Long story short, we dealt with a 21 year old stoner to rent our apartment, he completely screwed up the whole process, and I almost had to put all of my belongings in storage when the lease wasn't delivered and the landlord almost denied me access to the apatment. Bahhh. Thank goodness International Jessie showed up on move-in day to help us navigate the troubled waters.

So there will be many more fun stories to come from my roommates and I. Thanks to my trusty new internet connection, I'll once more be able to keep you all updated on things you didn't really care about in the first place.

Here we are after dragging ourselves out for Jeb's birthday on day one of the move. We're troopers.

Kisses,
Andrews

I'm not quite dead...

2007-05-17T04:09:00.000-07:00

So I have been a terrible blogger lately and I apologize. I'm not quite sure who I'm apologizing to since everyone has most likely, lost interest in my blog. The robo-falcons really didn't go over well. Not that I'm into excuses but commuting to Boston has really cut down on my free time. Just to show that I have been missing my cyber-rants, I'm posting the following list of topics that I emailed myself from work as a reminder to blog about them. Feel free to discuss:

*Cute little fingerprinting man in the basement vault of a 101yr old building
*Elevator boyfriend/longboard boy
*Wine Night
*iPods and commuting
*Killers pictures
*Greg the real estate broker
*Darisms

I swear that I've had some worthwhile experiences of late so hopefully I'll get some time to share them this weekend if the packing stays on schedule. Moving day is June 1st!!

WTF?

2007-04-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

"Robofalcons" to take on UK city's pesky pigeons
Fri Apr 20, 9:14 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - A flock of robotic falcons has been dispatched to tackle an influx of obese pigeons who are increasing in number and size thanks to an unnatural diet of fastfood.

The mechanical birds -- called 'Robops' -- have been placed on rooftop locations around the British city of Liverpool, and will flap their wings and squawk loudly to scare the problem pigeons away. The initiative was launched to deal with the birds who are now considered a nuisance in the city, flying at people and leaving droppings everywhere, Liverpool council said.

The pigeon problem has been exacerbated by residents in the city feeding the birds -- whose natural diet is seeds and insects -- with take-away leftovers. "We need to get the message across that anyone who feeds the birds intentionally, or occasionally with leftovers such as sausage rolls or burgers, is responsible for our streets being so crowded with these birds," Berni Turner, Liverpool city council's executive member for the environment said.

The falcons, created by a Scottish company, resemble a Peregrine Falcon - which is a natural predator of pigeons.

As a result of the scaring techniques and people not feeding the birds, it is hoped that the pigeon population will move out of the city center and into Liverpool's parks and green spaces.

The Council's Environmental Health manager Andy Hull said that the scheme was an attempt to improve the health of the pigeons, as their current diet is unhealthy and dangerous.

However, experts have condemned the scheme, saying that the council needs to tackle the source of the problem, rather than the symptoms. Emma Haskell, Director of PiCAS UK, the leading independent advisory body on the issue of bird control in Britain said her organization had done studies with mechanical deterrents and had found them to be completely ineffective.
"We believe that this is a complete waste of time...and a waste of money," she said. "Pigeons are a highly intelligent bird and they soon realize that these mechanical things are not a threat."

Liverpool has been named European Capital of Culture in 2008, but the city council currently uses the equivalent of 88 man-hours a day cleaning droppings from streets and buildings, at a cost of 160,000 a year.

"The robotic hawks are almost laughable as a method of control and the cost associated with buying and installing the product... simply cannot be justified," PiCAS said.

Can you say Commuter?

2007-04-20T16:55:00.000-07:00

So I have survived week one of the new job. It was completely crazy but I have realized that the blog will live on if I can only devise a discreet way of taking pictures of all the crazy people I see everyday on my way to work. Commuters are a strange group of people. Unfortunately, I now have to count myself as one of their number. However, I'm new enough to the group to still be able to recognize some of the subtle signs of insanity exhibited by the people sitting next to me on the T or standing next to me on the elevator. Once I get my secret spy kit together I can take pictures of these midly nutzo citizens without pushing them over the edge. Until then, you'll just have to make do with written accounts:

Elevator Crazy of the Week: Today I peeled myself away from my desk so I could run downstairs and deposit a check at the bank conveniently located in my building's lobby. As I got into the elevator to head back up, a woman stepped into the elevator with me. I was standing back and to the right from her thinking how unflattering her trenchcoat was when I realized that she was pregnant. Before you berate me for being a jerk, the reason that I couldn't tell if she was pregnant was because she was literally standing 2 inches away from the buttons on the elevator facing the corner. It was only when she started maniacally fidgeting with her headband while looking at her reflection in the wall around the elevator buttons that I discovered she was in the family way. Good luck kid.

MBTA Crazy of the Week: This week's undecover crazy of the week goes to the woman I saw on the Orange Line between Weellington Station and State Street. To the average blind commuter this woman does not stand out. She was middle aged, mousy hair, reading a newspaper and clutching a canvas bag. It was the canvas bag that sparked my interest. It was a washed out, off white color with a large logo reading "The Leaf & Acorn Club for Charming Tails Collectors." Now, I had no idea what Charming Tails were until I raced home and googled it.

Wait for it...

It's worth it....

Wait...

OK. Charming Tails are collectible resin figurines of playful mice in various delightful scenarios. This woman is ready to crack I swear it.

This piece is entitled "Party til the Cows Come Home"

Can you believe he threw me a party!?

2007-04-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

Yup, you read that correctly. Bossman suprised me with a gong away party on my last day. It was totally unexpected but it was so nice to get all of my coworkers together in one spot and get in our last goodbyes. I was really touched that everyone took time out of their busy schedules to give me a little send off. Things got a little crazy towards the end but thankfully someone had a camera to document all of it...

I'm really going to miss all those guys.

Feeling Feisty?

2007-04-13T06:44:00.000-07:00

Some days you just feel like prancing around and running through fields in the sunshine. Today is one of those days. Since I don't have a meadow at my disposal and it's not really that sunny, I'll have to express my emotions through music videos. Here's an old one and a new one from Feist. Enjoy.

"Mushaboom"

"1234"

Does anyone else feel like it's Christmas Eve?

2007-04-12T13:41:00.000-07:00

I do!

Tomorrow's the last day with Bossman! Don't worry, I've got a couple of last minute inquiries from him that will make interesting reading. I'll save that for tomorrow.

What do you get...

2007-04-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

...when you mix 2 born and bred New Englanders, 3 Southern belles, 1 Bulgarian waiter, and Boston together on a Friday night? A whole lot of nonsense and a Lobster covered in marinara sauce.

Jeri Ann finally got to prove that she did indeed have friends before she moved here when Naomi and Christy came to visit this past weekend. Jessie and I met them for a lovely little dinner in the North End at Saraceno. Upon arriving, the small Italian man acting as host immediately shuffled us back outside and up a very narrow staircase. Jessie and I thought we were being taken to go sleep with the fishes but in fact it was just the way to get to the upstairs dining room. How quaint.

Upstairs we met the girls, traded some "y'alls" around and dined on calamari, tomato and mozzarella, mussels, pasta, and the aforementioned lobster. Jessie and I wasted no time in diving in and eeking every last piece of meat from the sauced crustacean. Needless to say, the red sauce and my 3 vodka tonics made it a little messy.

All of these epicurean delights were administered to us by "Steve" our Bulgarian waiter. Over the course of the night Naomi had charmed him to the point where he brought us a round of free drinks and sat down with us to tell us all about his life as a student at Northeastern.

After closing down the restaurant and getting Steve's reccomendation on where to go out that night, we headed back to the Park Plaza (where my very chic Southern friends were staying) and had a drink at Whiskey Park. We took the requisite group photos, laughed at the couple making out behind us, dodged a couple of business consultants who "just wanted to chat" and called it a night. Lots of fun had by all.

Why am I so psyched for Monday?

2007-04-09T15:55:00.000-07:00

Because this is the day it begins...the last week with Bossman that is. I wish I could say that it's a little bittersweet. It's not. I wish I could say that I'll miss working for Bossman. I won't. I wish I could say that I hadn't intercepted an email that he wrote to a friend saying that I "wasn't exactly an ideal hire." I did.

Petty grievances aside, I've found myself mulling over two questions in my head as the beginning of the end begins.

1) What will the last conversation be like? Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if I don't even see him on Friday. That would be kind of his style. How awkward is it going to be to just walk out of the house and leave my keys and batphone behind? Actually, I can't leave my key on the desk since I'll have to lock up upon leaving. I guess I'll have to drop it in the mail slot. With my luck, the key will bounce off of the marble floor and underneath the antique mirror/bench/umbrella stand thing in the entryway. Upon arriving home and not being able to find the key, Bossman will call me asking where the key is and that will be totally awkward since it's my last day and he didn't even talk to me. Maybe I'm over thinking it.

I have been fantasizing about this whole final exit sequence where I say goodbye to Bossman with the perfect cutting remark that encompasses all of my frustrations and highlights all of his deficiencies as a manager/human being followed by me storming out of the haunted mansion, never to be seen again. However, he probably wouldn't get it and I don't really have the budget for the fabulous outfit a scene like that deserves. I'd rather spend the money on post-emancipation cocktails.

2) The second thing on my mind is obviously: "To sabotage or not to sabotage?" I'm leaning towards not since having to run his own life is going to be disastrous enough for Bossman. I think the furthest I'll go is bringing all of his favorite shirts to the dry cleaner on my last day and wait to see how long it takes for him to pick them up. I could log out of all the preset accounts that I've set up and let him figure it out on his own except for the fact that he's shameless enough to call me every time he runs into a snag...not that I plan on answering....

Did you know they could do this?

2007-04-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

The amount of stupid nonsense that people will do with their pets never ceases to amaze me. I thought the cat show I went to was bad but competitive bunny jumping? This takes organized pet activities to a whole other level. In honor of the upcoming holiday, enjoy...

Who's my favorite new Christian?

2007-04-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago another member of the clan was introduced to Jesus. We're big on tradition in my family so my Mom spent a week ironing the family Christening gown for wee little Harrison (he's the 3rd generation to wear it). Typically, his head was too big for the bonnet but I still think he carried off the outfit.

Some of the highlights and fun facts included:
* The ceremony was performed by Reverend Hughes who married my parents and baptized LJ and I.
*We got both my father and my heathen uncle and cousin to the church on time.
*While making the church announcements, Reverend Hughes commented that despite setting the time limit for the Easter Service at 1 hour, he couldn't control all the "hot air for Christ" that comes out around the holidays.

*Harrison was continuously reaching for his dad's PBR bottle at the after party. I told you, the kid's a rockstar.

WTF?

2007-04-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

Keith Richards: 'I Snorted My Father'
Apr 3, 3:14 PM (ET)

LONDON (AP) - Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all.
In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine.
"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.
"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Richards' father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.
Richards, one of rock's legendary wild men, told the magazine that his survival was the result of luck, and advised young musicians against trying to emulate him.
"I did it because that was the way I did it. Now people think it's a way of life," he was quoted as saying.
"I've no pretensions about immortality," he added. "I'm the same as everyone ... just kind of lucky.
"I was No. 1 on the 'who's likely to die' list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list," Richards said.

Do you know your Commandments?

2007-04-03T07:55:00.000-07:00

I know I stole this from Alex but I think these are some tenets for everyone to live by. Pause Dolly and give it a whirl.

What's Monday's BIG news?

2007-04-01T20:34:00.000-07:00

Emancipation!

That's the news. This morning, after going over the usual to-do list of errands I have to run and things I have to fix, I gave Bossman my two weeks notice. That's right kids, I've taken a new job and I'm making the transition to Boston.

There isn't a whole lot more to say really. The conversation itself was extremely anticlimactic. Not that I expected tears or counter-offers, but he didn't really say anything. I laid it out very succinctly that I had made the decision to relocate to Boston and had taken another position. Maybe he's freaking out internally and I'm sure that he's going to send me an email later asking me to write up the new craigslist ad to find my replacement, but, it seems like the saga of Bossman is coming to a quiet close.

So instead of filling my blog with pictures of sushi girls and ceramic dogs, I'll have to supply you with crazy stories of commuters and the transformation from small town assistant to big city professional that I'll soon be making. I've taken a job working with a team of financial advisers on State Street. It should be a trip! Wish me luck!

How Does one file their taxes when working for Bossman? Pt. 3

2007-03-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

No, I still do not have my 1099. Over the past several days, the situation has deteriorated to the point where I don't even see him anymore and we only communicate about my 1099 via email and, in reality, he doesn't really participate. He just sends me forwards from his accountant. To top it all off, I feel like we're back to square one since this morning he basically asked me to fill it out for myself(again). Is it time to give my notice yet?

If you're really bored and have some time to waste, feel free to peruse the email chain.

Sun Mar 11 15:56:13 2007
1099 Form
Hi Bossman,

I just did a search on google for a 1099 form. I believe this is the form I need:
http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/i1099msc.pdf

However, there are a couple of different 1099 forms and, not being an accountant, I'm not really qualified to accurately determine which form you need to give me and which on you should be filing with the IRS. Can I speak to your accountant directly on Monday? I'd like to take care of this as soon as possible.

Your Faithful Assistant

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 16:47:10
Fwd: FW: Household employee issues

Bossman, below is a link to a website that discusses various issues related to Household employees. You should look through this. I have also attached instructions for form SS-4 and the form. I believe you can call or go on line and complete the form (it is probably easier to call)

I will send you the form 1099 and 1096 to complete

http://www.irs.gov/publications/p926/ix01.html

Your Accountant
Very Big and Important office
Numbertown, USA 12345

NOTE: This was a forward from Bossman that I received without any explanation or salutation

Thu Mar 15 11:16:33 2007
RE: Fwd: FW: Household employee issues
Hi Bossman,

So I assume this means you're on top of everything? I'd like to have my 1099 by Friday, the 23rd at the very latest.

Thanks,
FA

Wed Mar 21 17:02:41 2007
Fwd: RE: FW: Household employee issues
Bossman, sorry, I forgot to get these out to you--I am having my assistant send them out today. Thanks for reminding me.

Your Accountant
Very Big and Important office
Numbertown, USA 12345

Mon Mar 26 10:41:59 2007
1099: URGENT
Hi Bossman,

The 1099 forms arrived over the weekend from your accountant. I'd appreciate it if you can get them filled out ASAP.

FA

Mon Mar 26 10:48:29 2007
Re: 1099: URGENTOK.

Why don't you look over them and write down any information that I might need.

Your start date, SSN, detailed payment history etc.

-B

"Can you run to the mall for me?"

2007-03-23T11:45:00.001-07:00

Bossman: "My mom is moving away and I'd like to get her a piece of Lladro as a going away gift. Can you go to Ross-Simons and find pieces that are travel or moving related, send me pictures via the phone, and I'll pick one?"

Faithful Assistant: "Sure. When do you need it by?"
BM: "Before 2pm."

Now, it's not such an odd request for me to go out and pick up a gift for him. However, I always get nervous when he puts such specific guidelines on what he wants. It has to be Lladro, it has to be from Ross-Simons, and it has to be related to his mother moving away. Yikes. I'm somewhat familiar with Lladro's overly emotional, pastel, high-gloss porcelain figurines. They are usually tall slender mothers in long dresses cradling babies or puppies. It's not exactly my taste. Also, any depiction of motherhood from them usually involves infants. Mothers aren't likely to move away from infants, thus making "relocation" a somewhat unexplored theme in Lladro ceramics.

Obstacle #2 was that my car is in the shop. I know. AGAIN. Although they promised I would have it by early afternoon, I knew I wasn't going to get it by 1pm. The scramble began for me to again impose my carless-yet-errand-laden self on one of my generous friends. Liz answered the call, picked me up, and we headed to benevolent Providence Place Mall on what I promised would be a "short trip."

After finding the only two figurines that could be remotely related to any sort of travel, I snapped the pictures (see Fig 1 & 2), and sent them to Bossman. I followed up with a phone call two minutes later:

FA: "Hi Bossman, I just sent you two pictures. Have you gotten them yet?"
BM: "No."
FA: "Ok. Well did you want me to buy the piece or are you going to come pick it up yourself?"
BM: "Um...I'm not sure. Let me call you back in a little bit."
FA: "Ok. well it's just that I don't have a car so I'm at the mall with my friend and I can't stay here that long. Can you call me back in two minutes?"
BM: "Oh. Ok."
FA: "So you're going to call me back?"
BM: "Yeah."

Long story short, he called me back and said that he was just going to come to the mall himself so I didn't have to stick around if I didn't want to. Apparently he doubts my ability to interpret the meaning of Lladro.

Fig 1: This is a puppy (somewhat similar to Bossman's dog) riding a paper airplane on top of a stylized gust of wind.

Fig 2: This is a bird gliding South (get it? get it?) on yet another, stylized gust of wind

How clever was I on St. Patrick's Day?

2007-03-22T09:30:00.001-07:00

I was so clever that I had the forethought to steal a pun from the internet and put it onto tshirts with Jessie before heading out for National Drinking Day. Let's have a little visual recap f the day shall we?

I felt like the typical Boston girl in my matching gear but at least our shirts got some laughs.

What also got some laughs was when Jessie and I began to take a picture and she broke away to yell at Matt who was minding his own business reading a shoe catalog in the dark.

"Let's take a picture! No! Not you...MATT."

I swear that this pose was completely spontaneous...sometimes magic just happens.

Here's the BryGuy, Jessie, and Jeb. She's obviously still a little angry about the Matt thing.

Andrew decided that he needed a mohawk to celebrate the day. It's hard to see but it's there. Trust me.

And what's a night out on the town without a classic fall from Messy Jessie? This was one for the record books though. What happens when you mix slushy conditions, cowboy boots, a natural sense of grace and balance, and a day's worth of drinking?

Answer: You get Jessie doing her flipped over turtle impression on Cambridge Street. She had strangers offering to help her up because her 3 friends were too busy laughing and taking pictures of her to pick her up. Sorry Jessie.

How does one file their taxes when working for Bossman? Pt. 2

2007-03-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

After receiving a forwarded message from Bossman's accountant via Bossman, I was concerned that he was trying to pass on the responsibility of the aforementioned 1099 form to me. The email showed that Bossman had in fact discussed the situation with an accountant and contained links to info on filling out the 1099 as well as another form to apply for an employer identification number. In a passive aggressive, defensive manuever, I replied to said email saying "So I assume this means you're taking care of getting the form? Thanks so much for being on top of it. I'd like to have the form by March 23rd at the latest."

That was Wednesday. Today being Friday and still having gotten no response, I decided to revisit the issue while he smacked away on his morning pear.

FA: "What's the latest on my 1099 form?"
BM: "The accountant is sending me the form I have to fill out. I guess I also need need to apply for an Employer Identification Number."
FA: "Ok. So you're on top of it?"
BM: "Well, if you could look at that email and tell me what I have to do for that, it would really help me out."
FA: (holding my ground) " I took a quick look and all you have to do is fill out the form and send it in."
BM: "I have to mail it in? I thought I could do it over the phone."

Let's take a brief time-out to analyze the subtle nuances of that last statement. Saying that he thought he could do it over the phone proves that he did indeed read the email and the attachments. Therefore, I would hazard to guess that he read the email, decided he didn't really feel like doing it, and forwarded it to me. Was he trying to play dumb so that I would take a closer look at the form, fill it out for him, and call in the info? It's highly likely. Time in.

FA:(reopening the email) "Oh you're right. You can do it over the phone. I think the easiest thing to do is print out the form, fill it in, then call in the information."

Awkward silence as Bossman waits for me to add, "...or I could just do it for you..." which I don't.

BM: (pretending that this is the moment when he has to run out the door) "Ok. Well I have to run but I'll look into it."
FA: (highly skeptical and thinking about the email I will write later to follow up) "Sounds good. Have a good day."

How does one file their taxes when working for Bossman?

2007-03-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

Good question.

It was initially agreed upon that I would be paid as an independent contractor and therefore receive a 1099 form, not the traditional W-2. Although it's pretty much illegal since I'm a permanent employee and he just wants to avoid paying payroll taxes, I went ahead with the plan since I was really excited about the job when I first started. I think we all know by now that my sentiments have since changed...

This past Sunday, I went home with my file-a-fax full of receipts and bills I had saved over the course of my employ as an independent contractor, ready to write off business expenses to my heart's content. However, a small snag was reached when diligent TurboTax asked me to enter the information from box 3b of my 1099. Box 3b? I suddenly realized that I couldn't fulfill the request since I didn't have a 1099 form from my employer (Bossman) and therefore had no idea what would be in box 3b.

Keeping my cool, I dial up Bossman. The conversation (somewhat abbreviated) went as follows:

Faithful Assistant: "Hi Bossman, I'm sitting here trying to do my taxes and realized that I haven't received a 1099 form from you yet. Do you know when I should be expecting it?"
Bossman: (somewhat dreamily) "Um....No. I don't have any idea."

Awkward silence...

FA: "Oh. Ok. Umm..."
BM: "Well what goes into that?"
FA: (trying to hide frustration) "Well, you or your accountant are supposed to fill out a 1099 form and submit it to me and the IRS so I can report my earnings and file my taxes."
BM: "Oh."
FA: "Should I talk to your accountant about it?"
BM: "Well, why don't you just figure out the steps that go into it and we'll go from there?"
FA: "Ok. I guess I can do that but I'd really need to speak to an accountant to make sure it's all correct."
BM: "Well...if you can figure out what needs to go into that then we can work it out."
FA: (getting audibly more frustrated) "Alright. I do need to get this taken care of really soon since the deadline is coming up. Do you have an accountant that handles your taxes?"
BM: (Still dreamy, I now think he's watching tv while talking to me) "There is an accountant but I don't think he'd handle this kind of thing..."

Awkward silence #2...

FA: "Um. You also have to file a 1099 as a part of your taxes. Your accountant should know about this if he's filing for you."
BM: "(audibly reaching his limit for how long he feels like talking to me) Ok. If you can just look into what information you need, you and I can go from there on Monday."
FA: (awash in defeat) "Sounds good. I'll see you Monday."

endnote: He told me to take the day off on Monday.

What happens when you leave Aunt Kate alone with the baby?

2007-03-05T07:58:00.000-08:00

He ends up looking like he just rolled out of a frat party. Good thing Harrison's middle name is Bender. The kid's already a champ in the rocking out department. Oooo and ahhh as much as you'd like.

And don't worry...I haven't gone all soft yet. It's Aunt Kate. Not Auntie Katie. Aunt Kate. Either he gets it straight or there will be no presents.

"Can you make up a social calendar for me?"

2007-02-28T10:28:00.000-08:00

"I want to know where all the cool stuff is happening...you know, like on the West Side and stuff."

OK. Not only do I do all of Bossman's errands for him, pay his bills, and make sure that his dog doesn't die from plaster inhalation*, but now, I have to tell him where to go have fun. There are a number of blazing obstacles in the way of successfully fulfilling this request. These obstacles led me to compare the social interactions of my boss and I.

1. Bossman's interpretation of "something cool/fun to do" is obviously slightly different than mine. I have friends that I go out with and have fun simply as a result of how cool we are collectively. One of my recent trips to Boston for example:

Doesn't this look like fun?

Bossman invites people over to eat sushi off of mostly naked girls. One of his recent parties for example:

note: The interview process for finding these girls was really very interesting

2. If I'm going to a cool event, would I really want to have Bossman there with me? Would you want your boss there? Keep in mind that he is only 5 years older than me and Providence is a small town so it's not such a stretch that we would see eachother out socially. However, the facts that he doesn't like to tell people that he has an assistant, never gives me credit for anything, and ignores me when I see him out and about, make me less inclined to make him in with my kind of in-crowd**

3. Most of the time when I go out, fun finds me. This isn't a conceited statement. One rarely makes specific plans to go out and do something that cool people do. It's a trial and error thing. You go out to a restaurant that someone has heard good things about and they turn out to have a really good bar scene. You go to an outdoor concert and stumble upon a goth marching band from Brooklyn. As I get older, I'm convinced that "cool" is a very organic thing. You go to a party and it just happens. My Christmas party for example:

Trying too hard leads you to a birthday party where everyone gets embarrassed by the bellydancer:

note: See how the only people watching are the waitress and the bellydancer's escort? Everyone else has their back turned. Weirdos.

What did I do in the end you ask? Well, I did my best to compile a combination of the invitations he had received, art gallery shows I thought he would like, and recurring events at local bars (e.g. the very cool salsa night that I have actually attended. See? I'm able to share). I sent it in a very organized spreadsheet and asked him to give me some sort of direction towards what types of events appeal to him. Obviously unimpressed, he's now sending me links to websites that may "be a good source for my social calendar."

This man is like Pandora's box. Every request leads to a thousand more questions about him. If he knows about these websites then why doesn't he come up with his own social calendar? Who is so busy that they can't figure out how they'd like to spend their free time? Certainly not someone who has a PA to do almost everything for them. Why won't he just admit that he's having trouble meeting girls instead of coming up with this cockamamie story about wanting to expand his social sphere and do "cool stuff?" Exasperation is my middle name.

*We had a shower valve crack and leak water into the kitchen. As a result, a large patch had to be put in the kitchen ceiling and it was determined that the dog either really wanted to help with the construction, or, had a hankering for white powder lying around (much like most of Providence's East Side).

**Not that I'm some sort of hipster. I wouldn't know what the in-crowd was if they poked me in the eye with an escargot fork.

What's the most annoying way to start your day?

2007-02-20T08:11:00.000-08:00

I'll tell you. It's finally getting the AV squad to come to the house in in order to fix the recurring issues with the integrated music system and being forced to listen to the Adult Jazz Easy Listening Station for an hour while they try and diagnose the problem. I'm about to ram Kenny G's saxophone through my eye.

Who's the man behind the martini?

2007-02-16T12:08:00.000-08:00

Why it's none other than Sam Rawstorne, internationally known recruiter, father-to-be, and all around jetsetter enjoying a little fuschia sensation. He was in town from San Fran and made the time to hang out with me at the old local, XO. We spent last night dodging gypsies and people who were completely mad but only came away with a couple of photos. As quickly as he was here, he's gone. Dancing will definitely be required the next time we hang out Sam.

It's obvious I was a little more excited than he was.

Do my friendships only exist in Cyberspace?

2007-02-16T11:26:00.000-08:00

First of all, cheers to Caroline for turning me on to goodreads.com. As she put it, "it's facebook for library nerds." I could spend hours on this site looking at what people are reading, making comments, trying to remember books that I want to read, etc. etc. Go start your own profile and be my friend!

As I just finished browsing around this site and sprucing up my profile, I realized that I am becoming more and more attached to cyber interactions with my friends. I check the blogs of my friends like a maniac, I find myself spiraling through people's myspace pages looking at who knows who, and I live for checking that little map on the right to see how many people come to my blog and where they are. This eventually leads to cyber-envy. How does Jessie always come up with such a cool background on her myspace page? How can I get as many dots on my map as Alex? How come people have better taste in books than I do? See how I just asked you to be my friend on goodreads? I have a pathological need to expand my cyber-circle as much as possible in order to validate myself as a hip, popular, technologically cutting edge type person.

You can see how this becomes dangerous. I always knew that I had an addictive personality. However, this is the height of modern technology isn't it? People staying virtually connected despite being geographically separated. Good and bad I guess. There are the obvious benefits but what happens when I lose my job because of a lack of productivity? Sorry Bossman, no dry cleaning today, I had to update my blog...and no, I didn't pay the bills yet, I had to make up an evite for my cyber book club's first virtual meeting over ichat.

Is this a date you'd really like to go on?

2007-02-14T07:55:00.000-08:00

I myself have been on some awkward dates. There was my prom date who ended up making out with my friend at the after party, the guy who thought sticking his tounge between my gum and upper lip was sexy, and of course, the date where we were confronted by "Primal Scream", Harvard's annual naked run. However, I don't know that I'd sign up to do this on Valentine's day. Click the link to read the whole story.

"Zoo Tours Cash in on Hot Monkey Love"

Adult visitors to the Lowry Park Zoo learn about the sex lives of porcupines during an after-hours tour Saturday, Feb. 10, 2007, in Tampa, Fla. Valentine's Day is the time of year when zoos around the nation seek to woo a new adult audience with risque tours that couple champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries and candlelight dining with impressive facts about how animals do the wild thing. (AP Photo/Steve Nesius)

Read the whole story

How much work is it to get your boss to a black tie event?

2007-02-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

It's a lot of work actually but I've found that it's perfectly manageable if you create a schedule and prepare yourself for the unexpected.

2 weeks before the event, notice that there is a black tie event (BTE) listed on his calendar. Ask if there is anything that you need to do for him before the BTE. He will say no.

1 week before the event, ask if he needs anything brought to the drycleaners before the BTE. He will delay, and tell you that he thinks he's all set but will look into it.

Morning, 3 days before the event, tell him that you're headed to the drycleaners. He will ask you to hold off until the afternoon so he can get his tux together and you can bring it to be pressed.

Mid-day, 3 days before the event, leave your boss a note reminding him to put his tux in the drycleaning basket.

Late afternoon, 3 days before the event, drop off his tux at the cleaners right before they close.

Day of BTE, after two days of him reminding you that he needs the tux picked up today, go to pick up the tux. While you're out, pick him up a selection of shoes to wear with said tux in two different sizes because he's not quite sure what will fit.

20 minutes before BTE, "I was wondering if you were free to pick me up and drop me off at my dinner. The cab company said it would be a 45 minute wait." Sure thing Bossman.

What's the creeepiest thing you can do in Boston on a Friday night?

2007-02-07T08:04:00.000-08:00

This is how the Museum of Fine Arts bills their "First Fridays" event:
"Join us on the first Friday of every month in the majestic Koch Gallery for a spirited evening of socializing. Enjoy music, cocktails, friends new and old, and fine art. There is no other way to start the month!"

This is what they should say:
"Join us on the First Friday of every month in the majestic Koch Gallery for an obnoxious evening of being hit on by desperate 40-50 year old men. Witty conversation abounds all evening so be prepared for "Are you two sisters?" "Where have you been hiding all night?" and the ever classic, "Do you come here often?" Enjoy the surrealness of being surrounded by oil paintings while listening to our aging DJ play "SexyBack" and "Like a Virgin." One unique feature of our First Fridays is that once you've made it into the gallery with the rest of your new friends, the only way out is the same way you came in! That way, you'll be able to revisit all of those interesting conversations before you leave. There is no better place to enjoy an $8.50 half martini and no better way to start the month!"

If I could have taken pictures of some of these characters without having them think it was an open invitation to my pants, I would have. Check it out. I have a feeling that all the same people will be there next month.

How many MDs does it take to change a lightbulb?

2007-01-31T08:59:00.000-08:00

Apparently none. You just have your PA call over two guys who get paid $40 an hour to change them all for you.